Hey, it's time for DanceCenter! They run down the first three contestants, but I'm totally distracted by the fact that Kenny Mayne (purposely, obviously) has orange pancake makeup on that stops at his chin line. Anyway, they start with Ty, and overdub some footage of him trying to do Latin with creaking metallic noises and then make his eyes glow red. Jerry Rice does his best Tracy Morgan and says that Ty is a killer robot come to destroy us all. As much as I love DanceCenter, it would be way better if Tracy Morgan were one of the hosts. Next up is Lil Kim, whose height, weight, and shoe size are all listed as "lil." Len tries to rap, with predictable results, and Kenny just cuts Len off every time he tries to talk. Kenny and Jerry do a riff on Kim making the most of her ass...ets. Finally, they talk about Shawn, and since she's still a kid, they probably don't want to rip on her too much, so they make fun of this weird face that Mark makes a lot, where he looks like a chipmunk, and then cut to footage of two chipmunks dancing together. Aw, cute animals. I could watch that all night. So the first round is over, and it was okay, but I feel like they were holding back a bit. Has DanceCenter lost its teeth?
After the break, it's time to reveal (in no particular order of course) the first couple that will be moving on to the semifinals. And that couple is...Gilles and Cheryl. Gilles is thrilled. He was obviously worried that he might be going home, and frankly, it was possible.
And we're back for the second half of DanceCenter. Melissa is up for review first. Her height and shoe size are listed as pretty. Kenny leads into a discussion of how Melissa was humiliated on national television...by Tony. Len defends Tony, but they use doctored up rehearsal footage to manufacture a case that Tony is bullying Melissa in rehearsals. All in good fun, Tony. Finally, they get to Gilles. Kenny complains that Gilles is prostituting himself and doesn't even have that great of a body. Cut back to the anchor desk, where all three men have removed their shirts. Len might have the best body of the three of them! Len! Who knew? I'm going to assume those are fake tattoos, since he's also wearing a thick gold chain, but whodathunk it? Kenny is just a lump of bread dough. And then that's it. Kind of disappointing, although better than yet another lame clip package.