Aaron and Karina are back to perform their Muppet quickstep. God I'm glad Aaron didn't make the finals. He makes me crazy. I forgot how much I dislike him. With the mugging and the over-the-top energy. Blech. Aaron says in his interview that he wants to inspire others. Whatever.
I can't even talk about this next part. Cloris, Jerry Springer, Woz, and Joanna are backstage with Miss Piggy. Sadly, she's kind of better at interviewing than Samantha. What was that? It's time to review the highlights of weeks eight and nine. This was the week of Mya's awesome samba and the first perfect score of the season, as well as Joanna and Derek's paso doble FROM THE FUTURE and Donny's Adam Ant thing. And then the finalists were revealed, and Joanna went home. And then took to her Twitter and proceeded to badmouth everyone else left on the show, because she's a terrible person.
So they're doing a competition mambo with Cloris and Corky, Jerry and Edyta, Woz and Karina, and Derek and Joanna. This is a joke. Jerry is kind of taking it seriously. I don't know what Cloris is doing and I don't want to know. Woz is rolling around on the floor and I'm not even kidding. Please make this end. Cloris gets knocked out first, and then Jerry. Not sure why they kept Woz. Oh, because he had to bring back his "hilarious" worm. Sigh. Why do they encourage him? Things are just devolving into chaos now. Finally Woz leaves and then Derek and Joanna bring back their bobbing move, except Derek is the one doing the bobbing. GET IT? IT'S HILARIOUS!! HA HA HA!
Whitney Houston is back to perform "I Wanna Dance with Somebody." She's singing live, too. No lip syncing for Ms. Houston. Five pro couples come out to dance. I believe it's Mark and Chelsie, Alec and Edyta, Maks and Lacey, Jonathan and Anna, and Tony and Cheryl. Well, they switch up partners a few times. Whitney needs to hire a new stylist; she's gained weight in the middle and her high-waisted dress doesn't flatter her.
Let's waste some more time asking the eliminated contestants what they think of the finalists. Macy is drugged and Debi admits that she's been rooting for Kelly. Cut to Tom, who is going to reveal the third-place couple. And after faffing about for a while, to the surprise of no one, he reveals that it's Kelly and Louis. That's totally right. She shouldn't beat Donny or Mya based on her performances. Kelly thanks the viewers for voting for her every week. Tom admits that he was looking forward to seeing Kelly the most every week, due to her growth. Kelly and Louis take a final bow.