Dancing With The Stars
Season 9 Performance 2: Results

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Last night, your intrepid weecapper got dancer fatigue from having to watch so many couples perform. It was like the Bataan Death March of Ballroom. But tonight should be a little easier for me and boring for the average viewer, because it will be a lot of filler and a lot of waiting around to find out who's going home this week. And we'll find out LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

During the recap of last night's dances, I note that they emphasize Tom DeLay's "might become a stress fracture" injury again. First of all, I'm sure most of the celebrities have some sort of similar injury right now. I notice that Debi and/or the producers haven't brought up her neck injury, and I think Lacey did something too. I'm not one for conspiracy theories. It's more likely that the producers are trying to stay apolitical with DeLay, and outside of politics, they have nothing to talk about in his clip packages. Maybe?

Baz, subbing for Len, gets to announce who gets the encore, and it's Mya and Dmitry. I'm glad for the chance to see it again; they came later in the show last night, and I was worn out. Because it's really good! Mya might be the star that ends up looking like a pro by the end of the season. And yes, I know she has dance training, but as someone who took like five years of tap dancing, I can vouch that it's very different from ballroom. Sure, she has experience learning routines, but so do most of the athletes; they have to learn something about body control and repeating movements until they become muscle memory. Anyway, it's a nice jive and I think I overlooked it last night.

The huge number of couples makes the performance shows really tedious, but it also makes the results shows go by faster, because they have to start calling people safe right away. And here's who's safe this week: Donny and Kym, Mya and Dmitry, and Aaron and Karina. Michael Irvin is talking to himself. Is he praying? Also, what is up with Samantha's hair tonight? It's really flat on top and then all curly and frizzy on the sides. I don't get it.

Joss Stone returns to the show to perform the single from her album while some professional dancers (none of the show regulars) dance along. Whoa. One of Joss Stone's lady backup singers is SPECTACULARLY endowed. And she's wearing a belt, so her huge chest is only further emphasized. And then the camera was filming from below her and it actually scared me for a second. Wait, I also just realized that the male pro dancer has a mullet. Not even a mullet; I think he has like a tail. Maybe it's a fauxhawk? It's freaking weird.

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Dancing With The Stars

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