Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | Grade It Now!
Say Goodbye

Backstage, Samantha asks Derek and Joanna what they plan to do to stay consistent. Joanna's solution is to keep eating. I don't know. Maybe she forgets to eat? Derek takes the opportunity to give props to Joanna for getting poor scores in the first round and coming through and kicking ass in her second dance.

Tom is ready to reveal who will be joining Joanna and Derek in the second round and it is... no shocker, Mya and Dmitry. And coming up next, Sabrina Bryant is back in the Design-A-Dance, which was assembled by committee. People voted on who would dance, to what song, doing what routine, and what they would wear. Sounds like a trainwreck.

Time for DanceCenter! Len, Jerry Rice, Kenny Mayne, and Stacey Keibler are here to provide some laughs for once. Or at least laughs on purpose. They start by profiling Joanna and my first chuckle comes courtesy of the stat: "Chest: Don't be rude." Come on! That's funny. Okay, I realize that the only thing less funny that someone trying too hard is me explaining all of the jokes, so I'll just quote some of the funny lines and move on. There is a moment where Donny and Bruno are looking very cozy, and I do appreciate Donny's ability to laugh at himself and not be all "Ew, gay!" but then again this joke sort of relies on the idea that it's hilarious to be gay, so I don't know. Anyway, they don't make fun of Aaron enough for my tastes, but he's so sensitive and I'd hate to see him cry some more.

Hey, guess who's dancing with Sabrina in Design-A-Dance? Mark Ballas! What a shocker! Except that stupid Corky posted about it online a few days ago and kind of ruined the surprise. So they are doing the paso doble to "Eye of the Tiger" in some supremely cheesy tiger-striped outfits. Given that these two dated and allegedly had a bad breakup, the whole love/hate thing of the paso doble actually kind of works on them. There are a couple of weirdo moves, but Sabrina could easily be a pro. If she just showed up and danced, and I didn't know who she was, I might believe that she's a pro. She's that good, at least at this one dance. Mark spends a weirdly long time at the end of the song, after the music ends, with his nose buried in Sabrina's cleavage. Wonder how his girlfriend feels about that.

Michael Buble is back to perform again. I hope they fixed his audio issues. He sings "Feelin' Good" and he is no Nina Simone, but it's much better than his first song. Two pros that I don't know (I don't think) come out and dance and they are pretty awesome. Tom says their names at the end of the dance but I couldn't hear him over the audience shrieking.

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Dancing With The Stars




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