"I don't sleep much, but that's okay. Takes up a lot of time. And I can always find something productive to do." Dear Max, instead of motorcycle racing, I would suggest acting lessons. Just a thought. Love, Amorgan. This episode of Dark Angel opens with Max racing her beloved bike through the unbusy, uncrowded nighttime streets of post-Pulse Seattle, running neck and neck with some other jackass too stupid to stay home and get some damned sleep in the middle of the night like decent folk oughta. I like the background music, though.

Has anyone out there actually read the comic book upon which this show is based? Most shows and movies that are based on comic books are horrendously bad. If you can count Barb Wire and The X-Men among the successes in a genre, then you're really hurting, know what I mean? Not that I'm making excuses for James Cameron. I'm just saying.

Anyway. Max races her bike along, the drone of her voice-over sounding in harmonious monotony with the drone of the motorcycle engine. Until the fuzz pull her over, break her taillight, and impound her bike, that is. D'oh! Those bastard cop-men! They are so mean and unfair. Life after the Pulse is hard and horrible.

Bad bad bad opening credits. That fetus makes me want to barf. I mean, I'm all about the miracle of life, but...YUCK.

Back from commercial break, Cap'n EO is riding the elevator, but oh golly no, he can't quite reach the penthouse button. So he wings it and pokes it with a handy piece of French bread. He's so cute and plucky, that rascal. He wheels into the kitchen of the Justice League HQ and is informed by his new cannon-fodder bodyguard that a woman claiming to be his ex-wife is in the living room. Like, whoa. He wheels into the living room to discover a red-haired hottie scooting his furniture all around. "This table's gotta go. It's blocking your chi." He looks at her like she is a total moron as she nervously babbles some feng shui at him. He calls her nervous feng shui bluff and asks her what she's come for. "I haven't had a drink in a year and a half," she announces. Oh criminy. More twelve-stepping. I wonder if this episode is going to be as full of, um, jargon as the Max-goes-to-jail episode. She tells him that her new hobby is apologizing to people, and they stare at each other meaningfully for a while. She looks a little like a fish. In a nice way.