Dark Angel

Episode Report Card
522 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Shut up.

First off, major props to Kim for enduring this hell on a weekly basis. She has the strength of ten recappers, I tell you. I'd also like to thank Shack for the rosaries he's offering up during this, my hour of need. Finally: James Cameron? Bite me. As if The Abyss and Titanic weren't bad enough.

I suppose I should explain my presence. Kim recently got engaged, and after putting up with this year's roster of delusional losers, drunks, and drag queens on The Real World, she quite reasonably decided a short vacation with the fiancé was far preferable to seeing what Jessica Alba's lips were up to on Halloween. Therefore, I'll be your guide this week as Max indulges in a bit of production-company-dictated nonsense. I've never seen Dark Angel before this evening, and trust me, after this episode, I will never be seeing it again. Let's get to the recap, then, shall we?

The hour opens in Logan's apartment. He and Asha stare intently at a computer screen as Asha asks, "So what's the deal with this hit man?" Logan notes that the hit man in question is "an independent contractor" who "got into town last night." He's the same independent contractor hired by somebody to kill someone named Rivera last year. Asha fumbles some manuals to the floor. When she bends to collect them, Max is revealed to be standing in the adjacent room. Logan greets her. Max just swung by "to cadge some coffee," but she volunteers to assist them in tracking down the contract killer. There's no coffee to be found in Casa Logan, which the gentleman of the house finds "ironic given that Seattle was the coffee capital of North America back in the day." Logan and Asha have everything covered already with the aid of the gang at S1W, but they appreciate the offer. Hearing this, Max shrugs her shoulders mildly and announces she has to "jet." "Cadge"? "Jet"? I hate these people already. Before Max leaves, she notifies the two of the party being held at Crash in honor of Halloween. Logan and Asha can't make it, as they're, you know, trying to stop a hired assassin and all, but they thank Max for the invitation nonetheless. Max leaves.

Cut to the headquarters of a bicycle messenger service. They're bicycle messengers? How trendy and daring and counter-cultural. In 1992. Max and Original Cindy stride down a gangway as Max fills Cindy in on her run-in with Logan and Asha earlier in the day. They pass Normal, who stands at his counter in front of a sign that subtly announces, "NO HALLOWEEN COSTUMES DURING BUSINESS HOURS." From the looks of things, no one save Normal and the ladies is following this directive.

Dark Angel