Dark Angel
Cold Comfort

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Amorgan: C- | Grade It Now!
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Blood is thicker than water. But what does that mean, really?

Damn, Jessica Alba's lips are BIG. Um, anyway. This episode opens in a market of some kind -- there's boxes of fruit, there's aprons, meat lockers, and OH SHIT a girl in the walk-in freezer. She's young, frozen, of Asian-American descent, and sporting a bar-code tattoo on her neck. Once discovered in the freezer, however, she bolts. That's actually when we see the bar-code tattoo -- when she runs out into the street. She's got super-fast vision, and super-fast running abilities. And that's what we know before we cut to commercials.

Back from commercials. Jam Pony. Herbal asks Normal for a day off. He wants to attend a concert celebrating Bob Marley's birthday. Normal tells him to go to hell, then declares that he'd like to take off June 12 to celebrate Dubya's birthday (um, that's now-President Bush, a.k.a. Shrub), since he was a visionary et cetera. Ahem. I'll leave that one alone. No need to fan the fires of an already-ugly political scene out there. Normal then proceeds to make Sketch model some dumb-ass new safety jacket/uniform, and declares that Jam Pony is about to be purchased by an Indian man with a very long name. So the whole place is getting a new coat of paint, and the messengers are going to wear digital tracking devices, and, of course, safety jackets. I'm bored.

Elsewhere in the city, the renegade Manticore girl is on a pay phone. She identifies herself as Brinn (what the hell kind of name is that?), and tells the person she's talking to that she knows she's not supposed to make contact, but she had too close a call with Lydecker recently, and she needs help. She arranges a meeting time, and runs off. The suspense is taut like a folded wool blanket. Which is to say, not at all.

Cut to Lydecker talking to someone in some very romantic light. Two men, golden sun, glistening water. They speak of the Vatican. There's some politics involved, and the man who is not Lydecker asks Lydecker to help, and it seems that one of Lydecker's kids will assassinate the troublemaker in Italy. Then the two men embrace passionately. Their hands rove, hungry, under one another's jackets, then shirts. Their eyes lock lustfully as Lydecker sinks to his knees and -- ah, I'm just joking. It's really just some banter about funding, Manticore, and the missing kids. Too bad, really. Gay porn can be so hot. Lydecker says he's closing in on one of the kids. Grrr, tiger. Maybe there will be some porn later on in the show, huh?

And speaking of porn, has anyone noticed how really big Jessica Alba's lips are? I mean, have you really looked? Have you looked at a frozen frame of Jessica Alba not riding a motorcycle through dark city streets, yellow sunglasses serving only to emphasize how entirely, ridiculously huge this girl's lips are? I mean, I'm surprised she can open her mouth. Sometimes I wish she couldn't open her mouth. Jessica Alba, if you're reading this, I'm sorry for making so much fun of your lips, but it's my job. And your lips, while kissable like big, soft marshmallow pillows, are outlandish. So the motorcycle speeds through the city streets, while Jessica Alba sits atop a stationary bike with a big-ass fan blowing her hair around. At least they started using the fan, you know? That was bad in the first episode. She's going home, she's home. She hollers for Kendra, finds a note saying Kendra's out getting some, then sees that her house has been broken into. Ew! It's Zach, all bloody! Ew! He tells about how he was ambushed by Lydecker's storm-troopers when he was meeting Brinn in an alley. They got Brinn, and they hit Zach with the car. So now he's all bloody, and he falls over in Max's arms.

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Dark Angel

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