Thanks to Methos for explaining that the Dark Angel writers really do listen to Wu Tang. I now bring you the most boring episode of any TV show ever...

It was a dark and stormy night. A young Latina woman walks along the street. Alone. In the dark and storm. She is approached by a homeless man. Can't you just feel the foreshadowing? Ooh, I'm getting tingly. If by "tingling" you mean "sleepy." The homeless man tells her that he had a sister that looked like her who died in the Tallahassee food riots. I guess the writers gave him that line so we would know that times were tough. 'Cause it is a little hard to tell what with all that dirt, filth, homelessness, grifting, squatting, and crime around. Anyway. The girl gets kidnapped. Are you surprised? I'm not. So the girl is nabbed and taken to a room where, lo and behold, it turns out that Captain EO kidnapped her. Lucky girl. It seems that she, Elena, approached Captain EO's people because he aired a broadcast that mentioned her father, Robert Herrero, who was a journalist. Captain EO affirms that they were colleagues back in the days of the Pacific Free Press. Elena wants to find out what happened to her father, who was "disappeared" over two years ago. She can't get over it. She must find out The Truth. Captain EO points out that he's not an investigator. She realizes this, but points out that he's in "the truth business," like her father.

The scene shifts to show Captain EO watching this over and over in his apartment. He looks concerned. As does Max when she realizes that her tough girl Latina lover position may be in jeopardy. So she decides to be catty ('cause that always works, ladies!), and rolls her eyes and asks if he's still thinking about helping the daughter of the "disappeared crusading journalist guy." The Captain gives her the stink-eye and rolls over her toes a few times. Well, okay, not really. He shows her pictures that Elena sent of her and her father when she was a little kid. He tells Max how everyone wanted Herrero dead: cops, robbers, monkeys. Everyone!

(One quick aside: I was watching this on tape, and when I stopped the video to go make a cup of coffee (for obvious reasons), Regis Philbin popped on the screen, and I mean popped, because his eyeballs were popping out of his bumpy little head at Charlize Theron. Who decided it was a good idea not to wear a brassiere under her tight shirt on national television. And we're not talking the Tonight Show here, folks. It's 9:21 in the morning. I'm just saying.)