Dark Angel
Designate This

Episode Report Card
Kim: C | Grade It Now!
Designate This

Original Cindy strolls into Jam Pony HQ. Normal stops her in order to give her an assignment in Sector Four. OC's all, "I'm not going all the way out there in the rain!" Normal's all, "Is it raining? In Seattle? Stop the presses." It's good to see that some things never change. OC is still sassy, and Normal is still cranky. OC stops in her tracks when she spots some dude putting his stuff in a locker. The dude says he thought the locker was free, but OC informs him that it's not, and also hands off her assignment in Sector Four. OC gazes wistfully at the locker, as the camera reveals that it belongs (belonged?) to Max.

Just then, an Eyes Only broadcast kicks in. OC, Sketchy, and the new dude gather to watch it. Cut to Logan in his apartment, giving the broadcast. Logan says that billions of tax dollars have been diverted to Project Manticore since the early 1990s. Got that, newbies? Sketchy says, "Cool," but it's captioned as "Kewl," which is just annoying. Logan continues with his exposition, explaining that the purpose of Manticore was to train genetically enhanced soldiers through the use of propaganda. According to Logan, in 2009, twelve soldiers escaped from a facility in Wyoming. Some were captured (Tinga), some were tortured (Zack), and some died (Max). Now, Manticore has consolidated their operations, and Eyes Only is looking for the new location. Logan signs off. So, did all of you who didn't watch last season get that? For the rest of you, it's just review. Also, Logan's sorrow over losing Max apparently extends to not being able to complete tasks such as shaving, or cutting and combing his hair. He's working a serious bowl cut.

Logan wheels over to his computer screen and zooms in on a really unflattering picture of Max. He strokes her face on the computer screen, probably thinking, "I don't remember her being so cross-eyed!" The picture on the screen comes to life as we cut to Max, minus about ten pounds and plus a few inches of hair, training at Manticore with other soldiers. Max spars with some guy, and the guy knocks her down and gets on top of her. Ew, not like that. Okay, kind of like that. The guy calls Max "452" and asks if she's not fully recuperated yet. Max responds, "Bite me!" The guy expositions that Max must have received a bad heart, for those of us wondering how in the hell she came back from the dead. Max executes a super-cool spinning dropkick on the guy, just as some lackey yells out that the director wants to see her.

Max and Nana Visitor stand face-to-face. Max is standing at attention, her face revealing nothing. Or, in other words, standard acting mode for Jessica Alba. Nana tells Max to state her designation. Max flashes back to earlier times when Nana asked her exactly that. When Max replied that her name was Max, Nana had her tortured. Thus, in the present day, Max barks, "X5-452!" I think that was the license plate on my first car. Nana isn't fooled, and wants to show something to Max. I think Nana has had a little work done since last season. Her face is looking a little tighter than usual. And her hair is even blonder and all spiky. It's not a good look for her.

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Dark Angel




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