These are the opening credits? I hope we don't have to listen to this boring, boring recap of the pilot every single week. Ugh. But I bet we will.

Holy fucking Christ, Cameron needs to put the kibosh on that voice-over business pronto. Um. I mean, this episode opens with a shot of Max walking her bike through thronged nighttime Seattle streets, pondering the nature of life, love, and anonymity. Her grating voice-over drones on and on and she tells us that she feels like a botched job, that her genetic engineers screwed up and she has to pay the price. Then she buys some tryptophan from a street vendor, who un-subtly remarks that Max is acting like a junkie. (sniff, sniff Do I smell foreshadowing in the air? Nah.) Max has got the shakes and sweats, you see, of the same variety that are normally confined to her early-morning bathroom scenes. Before Max and the vendor can engage in any more deep, meaningful dialogue, Max's ever-demanding pager goes off and calls her up to Logan Cale's house for a bout of hot 'n' heavy sexual tension.

Up in the penthouse, Logan's got the candles on, the wine glasses out, and his wheelchair all lubed up and ready to -- oh, sorry. That's the writing I do for my other website. Never mind. Suffice to say that he's trying to put the make on Max. But of course our tough little soldier doesn't give an inch, refusing his wine, his dinner, and his offer to take her for a ride in his sexy, sexy wheelchair. A brown-out conveniently occurs during his botched attempt at seduction, and conversation turns to what life was like before the Pulse. "What were you doing when the Pulse hit?" says Max. Logan says he was on his uncle's yacht with a lady friend. Of course. "And what about you, Max?" Max was hiding under some stairs at her foster family's home, hoping her drunk foster father wouldn't beat the living crap out of her and her foster sister. Hah. How about them apples, you spoiled rich boy? Teach you to look on the bright side of things. Logan remarks that he couldn't imagine Max putting up with a bunch of crap, but she tells him that she was trying to fit in, and that eventually she ran away. She's suppressing seizures this whole time, shaking and gulping and such, until Logan asks her if she's okay. She lays out a line of self-pitying snarf about how she's a lemon and she's got these really strong seizures, then she lays down on the couch and asks him to stay with her while she...has a whole bunch of visions of embryos? To an un-dope, un-phat electronica beat? My confusion is matched only by my eye-rolling resentment of James Cameron's heavy-handedness. I will not be manipulated, Cameron! Do you hear me?