Dark Angel
Freak Nation

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | 1 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Freak Nation

The show opens with a little recap of the show's premise, for those of you joining in for the first time because you heard James Cameron was directing and you wanted to see just how craptastic it would be. Let me state up front that I really hate James Cameron and everything he stands for, so he won't be getting many props from me. Anyway, Max sits on the Space Needle and mopes as we hear a voice-over explaining that she was created in a lab to be the perfect soldier, and then she busted out with some of her brothers and sisters. Then, nine months ago, she set Manticore on fire and let all of the inhabitants out into the world. The government's been trying to catch them, and the public is afraid of them. Max and Logan can't be together due to a virus. Logan is helping her figure out what White, who is ostensibly working for the government, is up to with his breeding cult stuff. All caught up? Let's move on.

It's Seattle, Washington in the year 2021. A reporter does a stand-up in front of Terminal City. Behind her, some Seattle residents are burning an X and throwing things at the fence. The reporter explains that a bunch of transgenics are holed up inside Terminal City, which was home to "a massive toxic spill" ten years ago. The reporter goes on to say that it's a felony to go inside the fence surrounding Terminal City, and the locals have been setting up flaming Xs "as a warning to the transgenics inside." A warning about what? If you come outside, we will burn you like an X? That warning seems a little vague. The locals are also throwing cans at the fence. Ooh, scary.

Max drives up on her motorcycle. James Cameron does everything he can to make Jessica Alba look sexy. He really is a perv, isn't he? Max stops outside the fence and revs the engine, then makes a smart remark. She pops a wheelie and drives through the flaming X. It would have been funny if her bike just stopped and she burned up. Okay, only funny to me, probably. Max flies up a makeshift ramp and over the fence.

Max rides her bike into Terminal City. She takes off her sunglasses, although I have to wonder why she was wearing sunglasses at night outside anyway. What is she, Corey Hart? She meets up with Mole (formerly The Leader) and hands over the money that she got from the drug dealer. Mole says it's good that they got the money because so many new people are arriving, and starts running down the list of all the supplies they'll need. Max is staring at all of the new arrivals like she's never seen a transgenic before. Max finds Runty and Dix watching television. The reporter we saw earlier is interviewing a local. Hey, did you know that the locals hate the transgenics? If not, you'll be reminded many times in this episode. When the interview ends, Max asks Joshua what he's doing. Joshua says that he's working on a flag for their little community. Runty and Dix joke about how they'll need the flag when they're marching in parades and such. Joshua explains the theme of his flag. The bottom is black, because they all came out of the dark. Then the middle is red, because their blood is now being spilled. The top is white because they want to go into the light. Of course, Joshua doesn't explain the giant eagle-like bird in the middle. I guess that represents Jessica Alba's chances of getting a serious acting role after this show is cancelled flying away. Also, James Cameron added some Titanic-like tootles to the soundtrack that just annoyed me.

White walks on a train platform, talking on a cell phone. He informs the person on the other end that they could compromise his security in the agency by bringing in a special team now. Oh, but testifying before Congress didn't compromise his security at all? The priestess tells White that his position in the agency has served them well until now. White doesn't think that "bringing in outside muscle is the best solution to this problem." The priestess explains that the Phalanx is the best they have, and no further discussion will be tolerated on this issue. White watches as a group of muscular people, led by Lita of WWF fame, gets off the train. Lita introduces herself to White and asks why he couldn't "handle one girl on [his] own." White says that Max is hardly a girl. He shows Lita a picture and says that Max is a threat to everything they've worked for. Lita takes the picture and promises to "clean [White's] mess up." I don't know what in the hell happened to Lita since I stopped watching the WWF, but she is jacked up. Her face used to be cute; now she looks like Chyna. Maybe she's taking HGH or something? I don't know, but it's a shame.

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Dark Angel

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