Dark Angel
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Amorgan: D | 1 USERS: A-
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Witchblade Runner
A young Michelle Shocked runs barefoot through the snowy woods, wearing nothing but a grey hospital gown and a barcode on the back of her neck. She's being chased by lots of faceless people on black whatever-you-call-those-ski-motorcycle-things. What are those things called? Motorskis? Ski mobiles? Snow mobiles? At any rate, there's a whole bunch of them and they're all chasing after this little shaved-head kid who's running and running. The kid runs into a (insert your own secluded-woods-area word here), and up pop at least a dozen other little shaved heads, all looking suitably institutionalized and hospital-escapee-ish. They were all hiding behind fallen logs, you see, and all the helicopters and searchlights in the world can't penetrate the unsecure non-cover of their hidey-hole. Little Michelle takes her place behind a fallen log. After a moment, one more kid joins the group, and then I guess the group's complete 'cause suddenly a different kid jumps up and starts communicating with the fugitive band in what looks like a silly combination of semaphore and sign language. Mr. Child Actor takes it all very, very seriously, though, and I understand now that he is the Leader. The Leader tells them all to separate, a too-serious female voice-over tells us, and all the kids scatter. The voice-over is the voice of Little Michelle in the future, you understand. "It was Zach's idea to separate, so I guess he saved my life. I never got a chance to thank him." That's what she says. Then the camera cuts to a scene of Zach with some metal thing over his mouth, being dragged into some building by two snow-Nazis. A screen floater tells me we're in Gillette, Wyoming, 2009. Blah blah blah bad acting by soldier-types, the head bad guy orders a bad actor to kill the kids if they make it "past the wire." So of course the next scene is of two little hospital patients scaling a wire fence, viewed through the green, grainy crosshairs of a night-vision scope, as if they are about to be shot. There's a long sequence in which a third hospital patient takes out the soldier who was going to shoot the two scaling the fence. He is set upon by many snow-Nazis and he fights admirably, but is, in the end, outnumbered. I think the purpose of this scene is not only to heighten suspense and drama, but also to alert us, the viewing audience, that these little ragamuffins are more than just pickpockets in London. They are fighting machines. And don't you forget it. Okay, so anyway, the two make it over the fence, they run, and then Little Michelle falls through some thin ice into the cold water below. Little Michelle's friend stops to call her name (it's Max, by the way), but then realizes she's about to get capped and takes off again. Blah blah blah overhead shot of running child in searchlights, Humvees and snow-thingies zooming all over the place. Cut to conversation between head Bad Guy and random soldier. Soldier tells BG that they've captured seven, killed two, and wounded three. BG replies that they've all got big problems if just one "makes it to the outside." "Realistically, sir, it's ten degrees out here. How far can these kids get?" Oh-ho-ho, mister stupid soldier-man! You don't even know that you're dealing with super-genetically engineered super-beings. Dumb. What do they teach people in the Army these days? All the bad people zoom away on their evil, child-collecting snow-thingies, and the camera pans across the snowy ground to a window of ice in the snow, through which we see Max's face looking upward, wide awake and not drowned or hypothermia'd at all.

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Dark Angel

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