Dark Angel
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Amorgan: D | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Witchblade Runner
Cleverly, the shot of young Max's face is slowly replaced by a shot of grown-up Max's face, and the voice-over continues and the camera pans out to show us a pensive, leather-clad young lady sitting on the rim of the Space Needle in Seattle. No, seriously, it's the Space Needle. ["Kim would be so happy." -- Sars] It's all decrepit and graffiti'd, and the moon is impossibly orange and huge. 'Cause it's the grim and dirty future, you see, and the moon always looks like that when there's been an apocalyptic event of any kind. Anyway, Little Miss Voice-Over continues to alert us to the fact that "hope is for losers," and that she has no idea where any of the others are. She hopes they're okay, though. 'Cause she's a walking contradiction who doesn't really believe her own cynical propaganda. Get it? Cut to Max's sweaty face in profile as she fumbles with a pill bottle. She's got the shakes, she's trying to take the pills, she's...she's having a flashback! Flash to scenes of bald kids with stern little faces marching around some grey, loveless building. Slide-show style, we see kids marching, kids training in martial arts, kids looking at a screen that's showing words like "discipline" and "teamwork" -- kids being brainwashed into little soldiers, basically. There's also some shots of the kids' eyes working like camera lenses. This, my friends, is important to remember for later. After some moments of this flashing back, Max strolls out of the bathroom, fresh as a daisy, and smiles as her roommate comments on how it sucks that they both partied hard and late, but Max is fine, while roomie is hung smooth over. The roommate drinks some coffee, then comments that she's feeling almost human, to which Max bitterly replies, "Yeah, me, too." Oooooooh! You got that, too, right? 'Cause Max isn't entirely human. 'kay. Next stop is Max's neighbors' apartment. Tenants include: one male (sweating and wrapped in a blanket), one female (worried and hovering), and one child (cute and endearingly precocious). It seems the sweaty fellow is Max's co-worker, and he's too sick to go to work today. Max offers to pick up his check for him, then says goodbye faux-cheerfully as he lies down to be weak some more on the couch. Onward, then. Our tour of Max's life continues through the city streets of Seattle via bicycle. Max is a bike messenger. Trés tough, no? Max rides through the bustling city streets, while her voice-over tells us that the nation is in a depression due to an electromagnetic pulse that ruined the US's prosperity. Terrorists. That's who did it. Freaking terrorists. The electromagnetic pulse wiped out all computer records, so everyone had to start over from scratch. Hence, the depression. But Max doesn't think it should be called a depression, 'cause people don't seem to be all that depressed. Um. Thanks, genius. Maybe you should stick to soldiering and leave the thinking to someone else. As she's thinking about how cheerful and jolly everyone is, the camera cuts to several shots of people being roughed up by cops and MPs, plus some extra shots of beefy men standing solidly in front of shiny black cars as if they were perhaps members of a Mafia organization.

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Dark Angel

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