Dark Angel
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Amorgan: D | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Witchblade Runner
Anyway, she leaves the detective's office and busts into the office building she was at earlier in the day. Remember what I said about both doors being in the target building? I was wrong. The ground-floor door is in the first building. The high-up door is in the target building, the one across the street. Max hustles up to the roof of the first building, clips a carabiner onto a convenient iron hook in the roof, and dives across the street like the Dark Angel that she is, swinging from her heavy-duty rope swing like freaking Batman. I will buy all of this only because she is a genetically modified soldier-person. I am still awfully skeptical, though. Just so you know. So she swoops across, and gracefully lands on the roof of the target building, in a beautiful commercial-trailer-worthy shot. That accomplished, she cat-burgles her way into the room full of trinkets that she'd spied earlier in the day. As she's burgling, she hears Mr. Eyes Only speaking from an adjacent room. 'Cause she's burgling his house, see? Funny how things work out that way. She spies on him for a while, just long enough for his security guard/bodyguard to discover her dangling cat-burglar rope and hunt her distracted ass down. A throw-down with the bodyguard ensues, and she, of course, kicks his butt. After frightening a helpless woman and child who are sharing a warm family moment in the room where Max tries to hide from the bodyguard. Did I mention that Mr. Eyes Only is hot? He is. Mr. EO holds Max at gunpoint after she beats the bodyguard down. They chat about art for a spell (he's relieved that she's "just a thief"), each vibing the other like teenagers on E, until building security arrives. Max takes advantage of the distraction to run like hell, and then dives out the very high plate-glass window and falls unscathed to the rooftop below. Mr. EO watches her with a quizzical and lustful look in his eye as she runs right away. We know from the commercials that he will soon figure out who she is. Oh, and in Mr. EO's latest broadcast, he's talking about how bad guy Edgar Sonrisa is guilty of selling placebo pills to VA hospitals. This is important for later. Another commercial break. Why do I always tape the commercials? I gotta quit that. God, could they show that stupid commercial for that stupid new David E. Kelley show enough times? I don't think they can. I mean, whoa. Like, that show is going to rock. It's about a teenage girl who doesn't wear a bra. Heh heh heh. [Eyes roll so far back in head that the author's dog becomes frightened and won't stop barking at her.]

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Dark Angel

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