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This is the Dave I know

With that, Dave strolls over the edge of the cliff, turns towards Hurley, and says, "See you in another life," and falls backward, cackling all the way down, while Hurley screams. Don't worry; he'll just land on the bodies of all the viewers who just got frustrated waiting for things to develop.

Looks like Kate finally got her ass back to the hatch; Locke's making his way across the floor on his crutches towards the armoury. Ana-Lucia's taking apart a gun, which for her is like some kind of lovemaking. Locke asks if Jack's back yet. She tells him he's at the beach telling everyone that they've caught an Other. Sure he is. "Something tells me people have a lot of questions about our houseguest." I guess people ask all their questions off-camera, huh? Locke says he wants to talk to Faux Henry, but Ana says she doesn't think "that's on today's program." Wow, she sure feels comfortable here now, doesn't she? Jack says, "all due respect," he doesn't much care what she thinks. She just looks at him, like, what ya gonna do about it? Likely coming to the conclusion that with him gimped back up, he's probably not getting in there without her letting him. So he asks for five minutes.

Ana opens the door, and Locke hobbles inside. He glares at Faux Henry. "What's your name? Your real name." Faux Henry says he should just keep calling him Henry: "I've gotten used to it." I'm afraid that solution just ain't gonna fly on the boards, so the sooner you come up with something that lends itself to a witty topic title, the better. Locke wonders if he got caught on purpose -- he's suspicious because Henry and his people have been here for "God knows how long," and yet Henry got caught in a net? What's up with that? "God doesn't know," says Henry. He looks up and stares at Locke. I guess since he's been found out, he feels free to act as creepy as he'd like. "God doesn't know how long we've been here, John. He can't see this island any better than the rest of the world can." He's saying it like he's not far removed from "it puts the lotion on its skin" behaviour. He asks Locke what possible reason he would have for putting himself through this. "Maybe your people were looking for this place," says Locke. "This place? This place is a joke, John!" says Henry. You think this place is bad? You should see Arrow station. Now, that place is a hole. In a voice that can barely be described as toneless, Henry describes how during the lockdown he crawled through the vents and stood at the computer as the alarm beeped, and let the timer run all the way down to zero, and the hieroglyphs started flipping around. "And then things got real interesting. There was a loud clunking and a hum like a magnet -- a big magnet. It was really very frightening," he says, asking if Locke knows what happened next. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. "Your timer just flipped back to 108. I never entered the numbers. I never pressed the button." Oh, I'm sure the Others' hatch causes Armageddon, but Swan station sucks, is that it? After a moment, Locke says Henry's lying. "No, I'm done lying," says Henry. Which isn't true if he's still lying, though. Then they have a staring contest, and Locke loses.

Hurley's yelling "Daaaave!" down at the surf. Looks like he's been taking name-screaming classes from Michael. ["Who?" -- Sars] Libby shows up and asks him who Dave is. Hurley's all freaked out, wanting to know what she's doing here, and how she knew where he was. "Jin saw you while he was fishing," she says, and Hurley thinks he's caught her in a lie because Jin doesn't speak English, but Libby offers the very reasonable explanation that Sun translated. She asks Hurley what's going on. He says she's just the part of him that's scared: "You don't want me to wake up. Well, guess what? I'm not scared!" He's not very convincing, especially as he's taking a couple of steps backwards towards the edge. Libby says she "gets" that he's having a panic attack, but this isn't like him. "Like me? You don't know me," says Hurley. Libby says she was starting to. Hurley decides to speed up the process by telling her he's so fat that he's killed two people, and that he has an imaginary friend. I had an imaginary dog once. It ran away. How fucking sad is that.

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