Dawson’s Creek

...Must Come To An End (2)

By Jessica | Aired on 05.13.2003

…Must Come To An End (2) - Phew. Sorry this is late, kids. My VCR decided some time last week to stop recording anything, but I didn't find that out until Sunday, when I sat down to write my recap. So Sars mailed me her copy....

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6-24 Recap	...Must Come To An End (2) …Must Come To An End (2) - Jen dies, and, yes, people, I cried. I'm not made of stone, okay? She bequeaths baby Amy to Jack, and -- because Everyone Must Learn A Lesson From Jen's Tragic Death -- Doug comes out of the closet to admit that he loves Jack and he's ready to be a parent. Meanwhile, Dawson and Joey agree that they'll be together forever.but simply as friends, rather than in any kind of sexual or romantic way. Instead, Dawson goes back to his one true love (himself, a.k.a. his television show) and Joey and Pacey end up as they should: together. Oh, shut up. You got misty, too.	05.13.2003	B+	Jessica
Ep.	Title	Air/Pub'l	Grade	Author
6-23 Recap	Future Shock All Good Things… (1) - Ha! As if. There's nothing shocking about this episode, which allegedly takes place five years from now, even though everyone still looks and acts exactly the same -- which is to say, badly coiffed and irritating. Especially Dawson. Everyone who was hoping he would be the "one of these four friends" who took a dirt nap will be sorely disappointed, and yet, not even the tiniest bit surprised by who actually is about to croak. (Hint: That character's name rhymes with "Jen." And is "Jen.")	05.13.2003 05.17.2003	C-	Sars
6-22 Recap	Joey Potter And Capeside Redemption Joey Potter And Capeside Redemption - Joey pulls all of Capeside together to make Dawson's movie happen. Pacey, meanwhile, uses his charm all over town to make back most of the money Dawson lost in his crazy stock scheme. In the final analysis, Joey reels off a pat little speech about all the stuff she's learned about, like, life and shit in her long nineteen years, and it is revealed that she's run off to Paris. Before she goes, though, she and Dawson make their peace with each other, and she even brokers an honest understanding of sorts between Dawson and Pacey.	05.06.2003 05.13.2003	B	Jessica
6-21 Recap	Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road - Pacey has lost all of the seed money for Dawson's Self-Indulgent Independent Movie, and after he manages to get up the courage to tell him, the two of them have a big old fight. Also, they make all this noise about how they're not really friends, and blah blah blah Joey-cakes. After the fight, Joey gives Pacey a little pep talk about how he's making his fear of failure into a self-fulfilling prophecy, and she assures him that she wants to be part of his life. In Boston, Jen's mother arrives to kiss and make up with Grams. Grams, Jen, CJ, and Jack then all decide to move to New York, so that CJ can go to grad school, and Grams can be waiting on them hand and foot.	04.29.2003 05.05.2003	B-	Jessica
6-20 Recap	Making money hand over fisticuffs Catch-22 - Sadia and Pacey have the world's least interesting affair, Dawson's money goes down the tubes, Eddie dumps Joey, Pacey has a fight with Boss Man Rich, and Jack breaks up with Little David. It sounds like a lot, but honestly, nothing happens.	04.22.2003 04.29.2003	C-	Miss Alli
6-19 Recap	Lovelines Lovelines - Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla, formerly of Loveline fame, make an appearance at Boston Bay College of Contrivance. Joey and Eddie use the forum to work through the fact that she doesn't want to "get with" him. Blandy and Jen use it to work through their "break-up," and Jen finally admits to Blandy that Grams is sick. TGED and Jack have the stupidest fight in the world about saving seats, because they're apparently twelve. Oh, and Audrey's back. Whatever.	04.15.2003 04.22.2003	F	Jessica
6-18 Recap	Love Bites Love Bites - Grams has breast cancer and it's spread too far for surgery, Joey told Pacey that it was over between them forever and went back to Oliver, and I sympathized with Dawson. I can't give a well-done and moving episode a bad grade simply because one character (Joey) made a choice (going back to Oliver) that I think is really, really wrong (yes, I said Oliver), can I?	04.08.2003 04.15.2003	B+	Jessica
6-17 Recap	Sex And Violence Sex And Violence - Joey takes a temporary job as Pacey's assistant, and acts completely unprofessionally and in a generally appalling manner. And stupid Dawson goes through the most unrealistic pitch meeting ever and then talks to Todd, and Todd has apparently been taken over by the pod people because he gives him the schmoopiest advice ever. And Jen! Jen has a complete break with reality and decides that CJ both wants an unreasonable amount of sex from her and that he thinks she's a slut, painting herself as a whore and a prude at the same time! And then she and CJ work out their sexual problems with Grams! At the dinner table!	04.01.2003 04.07.2003	N/A	Jessica
6-16 Recap	That Was Then That Was Then - Pacey and Joey are considering whether to revisit their relationship when Pacey gets called back to Capeside: Pa Witter is in the hospital. He recovers, but not without finally telling Pacey how proud he is of the way Pacey turned out. This causes some conflict between Pacey and a surprisingly bratty Deputy Doug, but Pacey's visit to Capeside ends well when he meets up with Dawson and they agree to start anew with their friendship. As for Joey, she's dealing with her own Mini-Me, as she tutors Harley in both English and her burgeoning relationship with a mini-Pacey.	03.25.2003 03.31.2003	B	Jessica
6-15 Recap	Castaways Castaways - Joey and Pacey are locked in a K-Mart. No Dawson. No Audrey. No boring tertiary characters yapping about their stupid lives. Katie Holmes and Josh Jackson look alive for the second episode in a row as their characters actually talk about the fact that, you know, they used to go out. Eventually, Pacey admits that he's been having schmoopy feelings for Joey. She kisses him a couple of times, but asks to think about the possibility of them getting back together for a bit before giving him a definitive answer. Bonus: Pacey loses the goatee! Praise the sweet Lord!	02.11.2003 02.14.2003	B+	Jessica
6-14 Recap	Clean And Sober Clean And Sober - Jack and Pacey have a big party, including a very amusing game of Spin-the-Bottle. Emma announces that she's marrying some total freak so she can stay in the country, and Jack asks her to marry him instead. She doesn't take him up on it, though. Blandy and Jen have sex and, really, seem very schmoopy together. And when Pacey puts a very drunk Joey to bed, he admits that he never got over her! And then they kiss! Eeeee! Oh, yeah -- on the other side of the country, Dawson visits Audrey in rehab and spends his whole time stalking a famous producers who's also drying out there. But who cares about them?	02.04.2003 02.09.2003	B+	Jessica
6-13 Recap	Rock Bottom Rock Bottom - Joey and Oliver drive Audrey to rehab in Los Angeles, picking up the always amusing Seth Rogen along the way. Dawson starts reshoots on Todd's movie, but doesn't get anything done until he starts acting like Todd. Without the charm, natch. Grams has broken up with Clifton Smalls, and Jen sets her up with Blandy's uncle. Grams and Uncle Blandy kind of hit it off -- even though Uncle Blandy is kind of an ass -- and Blandy and Jen kiss. I guess he was just waiting for her to get that horrid Dutch Boy hair cut.	01.28.2003 01.30.2003	C	Jessica
6-12 Recap	All The Right Moves All The Right Moves - Audrey's still boozing it up. Briggs takes Pacey to a party at Leland Palmer's house (yes, Leland Palmer of Twin Peaks), where Bobby and Leland make Pacey the patsy for what is obviously some illegal scam they're running. And Joey talks Flip-Flops into getting Oliver into a fancy-schmancy writing program. It appears that Jack, Jen, Blandy, Grams, Dawson, Natasha, and Todd are all dead in a ditch somewhere.	01.21.2003 01.24.2003	C	Jessica
6-11 Recap	Day Out Of Days Day Out Of Days - Oliver's missing! Joey is concerned. Pacey still hates his job.and yet, will not resign. And Dawson has been hired to direct reshoots of Todd's movie, despite the fact that he's alarmingly unqualified to do so. Also: The Annual Gay Kiss! This year, with 60 percent less emotion!	01.14.2003 01.20.2003	C	Jessica
6-10 Recap	Merry Mayhem Merry Mayhem - It's Christmas in Capeside, and everyone's having dinner at Casa Leery. So, they're all at dinner, right? And then Audrey, high on booze and painkillers, tells them all exactly what she thinks of them, spilling oodles of embarrassing secrets in the process. Then she runs outside and proceeds to crash Pacey's new Beemer into the house. What a delightful dinner guest she is!	12.10.2002 12.17.2002	C+	Jessica
6-10 Extra	Texas Rangers Texas Rangers - Dawson, Bobby Donnell, John Doggett, and Usher get up to all kinds of trouble in Texas. As the last line of defense in a state that's about to go to hell in a bandit's basket, the Texas Rangers ride in and save the day. No, I'm really not kidding.	12.09.2002 12.09.2002	D+	Ragdoll
6-9 Recap	Everything Put Together Falls Apart Everything Put Together Falls Apart - Emma and Pacey kiss; Natasha cheats on the Beek; Joey sleeps through her final; Jessica finally takes her own life.	11.19.2002 11.26.2002	D+	Jessica
6-8 Recap	Spiderwebs Spiderwebs - I've got nothing against Gwen Stefani, but if I wanted to see an hour of her cut abs and complicated eye make-up, I'd turn on MTV. In between long scenes of No Doubt performing, Pacey resorts to violence, Audrey continues to irritate viewers across the world, and Oliver and Joey start to get schmoopy.	11.12.2002 11.19.2002	C	Jessica
6-7 Recap	Ego Tripping At The Gates Of Hell Ego Tripping At The Gates Of Hell - Okay, here's the story. Nothing happened. Nothing. Not a single thing. Audrey got drunk, made an ass of herself, and vomited. Jack got some closure on his non-relationship with Professor Unambiguously Closeted, but no action. He's also -- possibly -- getting the party started with Tiny, Gay, Elfin David, who is now my favorite character on this show. Pacey goes to New Orleans for five minutes and almost has sex with a whore. No, a real one. There was no Dawson at all. Some other shit happened, but I feel asleep.	11.05.2002 11.09.2002	C-	Jessica
6-6 Recap	Living Dead Girl Living Dead Girl - In this Halloween-themed episode, Todd and Natasha play a supremely obvious practical joke on Dawson, which eventually culminates in Dawson and Natasha's romantic reunion. Oliver and Joey baby-sit Professor Flip Flops's daughter, who Joey might as well just dub "Mini-Me" and get it over with. During the course of the evening, Oliver kisses Joey. Blandy tells Jack that he's not romantically interested in Jen, and Audrey slaps Pacey and then breaks up with him.	10.29.2002 11.05.2002	C+	Jessica
6-5 Recap	The Impostors The Impostors - The entire audience dies of boredom as absolutely nothing happens in this episode at all. Oh, except we find out that Oliver isn't actually a student. He's just auditing classes at Worthington. Yawn.	10.22.2002 10.29.2002	N/A	Jessica
6-4 Recap	Instant Karma! Instant Karma! - What does the title of this episode even mean? No one knows. A more descriptive title would have been "Incredibly Boring Episode About Nothing."	10.15.2002 10.22.2002	C	Jessica
6-3 Recap	Please Please Mr. Postman The Importance Of Not Being Too Earnest - …kill me. Joey sends an email intended for Dawson to the entire campus, and suffers for it. HA-ha! Also, Pacey learns a few hard truths about the cutthroat world of financial markets, and Jack embarrasses himself with his hot straight prof. Think that sounds interesting? Think again.	10.08.2002 10.13.2002	D+	Sars
6-2 Recap	The Song Remains The Same (2) The Song Remains The Same (2) - Yeah, remember how Dawson and Joey had sex? The fallout begins.	10.01.2002 10.08.2002	C+	Jessica
6-1 Recap	Hysterical Blindness The Kids Are Alright (1) - Dawson and Joey finally have sex. Across North America, hospitals report sharp increases of eye-related injuries, including bleeding from the eyes, bleach thrown into the eyes and eyes being gouged out by the patient. Authorities are mystified.	10.01.2002 10.07.2002	C+	Jessica
5-24 Extra	Final Analysis The Rob Nagle Interview - Rob Nagle, a.k.a. Tom Frost, a.k.a. Mr. Sars, very nicely pretends that Sars isn't a big freak and answers some questions about his time on DC.	08.19.2002 08.19.2002	A+	Sars
5-23 Recap	Swan Song Swan Song - Dawson and Audrey try to leave for Los Angeles, but Pacey and Joey (ignoring all airport security regulations) manage to get to their respective objects of affection before it's too late. In other news, Jack decides to stay in town and hang out with Ambiguously Gay Eric. Jen decides to go to the Hamptons and hang with her Mean Parents. Grams and her red-hot lover take off to Vegas. No, really. No, really.	05.14.2002 05.21.2002	C	Jessica
5-22 Recap	The Abby The Abby - What a boring penultimate episode! School's out for summer, and Joey starts her vacation by dealing with her jailbird father. Pacey starts by quitting his job, and nearly gets killed by Alex Pearl. Everyone else is deeply, painfully boring.	05.07.2002 05.14.2002	D+	Jessica
5-21 Recap	After Hours After Hours - Finals Week presents challenges for each of our heroes. Well, except Dawson, who gets laid. And Jen, who died in Florida. As for the rest of them: Joey morphs into Cranky McBitchPants studying in the library, yet somehow emerges more likable than before. Pacey has woman troubles juggling his Crazy Sexual Harassing Boss Lady and Audrey, who pretty much freaks out when she walks in on the two of them. And Jack learns that math is hard. Plus, the reappearance of Ambiguously Gay Eric!	04.30.2002 05.06.2002	C+	Jessica
5-20 Recap	Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) - St. Joey absolves Charlie of his sins, then sends him away to sing with his choir. A seductive employer tries to treat Pacey like her favorite altar boy. Pander succumbs to pride and threatens Dawson's relationship with an agent. Jen and Jack are naughty sinners, and therefore undeserving of any storylines.	04.23.2002 04.30.2002	C-	Shack
5-19 Recap	100 Light Years From Home 100 Light Years From Home - Dawson's Creek's 100th episode features not only a completely nauseating revisitation of the Saga of Dawson and Joey (including flashbacks! Ack!), but also an entirely too long musical interlude featuring pop nonentity M2M and lots and lots of product placement for MTV. Also: Jack sort of tries to kill himself; Audrey runs into her Josh Hartnett-esque movie-star ex-boyfriend and manages to parlay it into getting Pacey to agree to be her steady thing; Joey lets Charlie get a step closer to her most intimate of areas after a kittenfight with Jen; and Dawson...whatever.	04.16.2002 04.23.2002	C+	Jessica
5-18 Recap	Cigarette Burns Cigarette Burns - Dawson screens his film for everyone he knows and a bunch of people he doesn't, including Grams's new boyfriend, saucy black geometry teacher Clifton Smalls. Go Grams with your interracial relationship! Prior to the screening, Dawson macks with a film critic invited to watch his masterpiece; Pander makes a play for Jen; Joey and Charlie flirt; and Audrey makes Pacey crash his car when she lies and tells him that she's had sex with twenty-seven people. But she hasn't. She's just testing him. Also: Jack is still likable.	04.09.2002 04.15.2002	B-	Jessica
5-17 Recap	Highway To Hell Highway To Hell - Charlie and Joey go on the road with Charlie's band, Pacey and Audrey in tow. Banter happens. Charlie begins to grow on, well, Joey. While in Capeside to celebrate Li'l Lily Leery's first birthday, Jen breaks up with Dawson's ass! Well, it ends up being sort of mutual, but it was really her idea. And Dawson? You know he's thinking about Joey. You knew that was coming, didn't you? Somewhere, deep inside, in that place where you know you're going to die one day.	04.02.2002 04.09.2002	B-	Jessica
5-16 Recap	In A Lonely Place In A Lonely Place - Joey and Creepy break it off, and talk pretentiously about literature. Dawson and Joey hang out, and manage not to make viewers all over the globe kill themselves. Jack and Pacey go to a gay bar, and hilarity ensues. And Jen and Audrey learn about Life And Love from a couple of dopey guys in a band. P.S.: Audrey and Pacey had sex in his car the night Joey got mugged. Just in case you were wondering.	02.19.2002 02.26.2002	B-	Jessica
5-15 Recap	Downtown Crossing (2) Downtown Crossing (2) - The worst episode of Dawson's Creek ever. Joey gets mugged, and chit-chats with her mugger for half an hour. Then he gets hit by a car and she goes to the hospital with him and makes friends with his wife and kid and then sits with him and learns all sorts of things about herself and her own sucky dad, and then Joey and the mugger sing a round of "Close To You" by the Carpenters and then he DIES.	02.12.2002 02.19.2002	N/A	Jessica
5-14 Recap	Guerilla Filmmaking (1) Guerilla Filmmaking (1) - Dawson gets behind the camera to make Pander's stupid movie and almost returns to being his super-annoying self. Joey and Creepy broker some kind of Don't Ask, Don't Tell agreement about the kiss, and then break said agreement by making out. Speaking of making out, Audrey and Pacey do it; first, surreptitiously and with much guilt, then with Joey's blessing. Jack gets railroaded out of the frat, finally. Plus, the return of Charlie! All that, and we may have had a shout-out.	02.05.2002 02.12.2002	B	Jessica
5-13 Recap	Something Wilder Something Wilder - So, stupid, stupid Joey blows off Wacky But Endearing McFly to go smooch Professor Creepy! Thank God, both she and the old guy seem somewhat horrified by their impromptu lip lock. But not quite horrified enough. Elsewhere, Jack discovers that his frat brothers are deeply, deeply jerky, and Dawson finds himself agreeing to direct Pander (remember, the film school geek?) in what will surely be a deeply obnoxious cinematic effort.	01.29.2002 02.05.2002	B	Jessica
5-12 Recap	Sleeping Arrangements Sleeping Arrangements - Pacey pretends to take an offer to sail to the Greek islands, going so far as to quit his job at Liberty Hell. Then he changes his mind, because Josh Jackson can't get out of his contract. Joey runs into this guy she met at a party, and decides to date him as soon as she determines that he never had sex with Audrey. Jen and Dawson...well, no one really cares. In a very dull subplot, Jack has issues with homophobic frat guys who don't want to share a room with him.	01.22.2002 01.28.2002	C+	Jessica
5-11 Recap	Something Wild Something Wild - Pacey gets a promotion and an envelope of cash and walks around looking adorable! Audrey gets a job and dark blue eyeshadow and several sassy lines! Joey gets straight As and then goes drinking and sings with Charlie's band and also kisses him! Dawson...ah, whatever. Let's just say that it involves sex in his bereaved mother's house and a plan to move into Grams's attic, and leave it at that.	01.15.2002 01.22.2002	B	Jessica
5-10 Recap	Appetite For Destruction Appetite For Destruction - Dudes! This episode was actually really pretty good! Pacey wore an apron and was funny! Jack and Jen had a heart-to-heart! Audrey was everyone's girlfriend! And Dawson and Jen? Well, the schmoopiness could have been way worse. And Joey? Says she doesn't care that Dawson and Jen had the sex, and you know what? It seems to be true! Way to go, writers: I didn't want to stab out my eyes. At all!	12.18.2001 12.25.2001	B+	Jessica
5-9 Recap	Four Scary Stories Four Scary Stories - This episode was pulled from sweeps and retooled. For obvious reasons: it's weird. And, um, not that good. Cut into four "scary" vignettes, this episode ranges from absurd (Jack meets a gay ghost in the frat house!), to silly (Pacey is chased by a driverless car). The good? No Dawson. At all!	12.11.2001 12.18.2001	C	Jessica
5-8 Recap	Hotel New Hampshire Hotel New Hampshire - Dawson has the best weekend ever! His film wins an award, a bunch of strangers fawn over him, and Jen? Has sex with him! And then decides she'd like to keep having sex with him! Dead Dad notwithstanding, Dawson's the luckiest boy in the whole wide world! Also, Joey looks pretty, Pacey gets some of his own, and Jack is an ass.	11.27.2001 12.04.2001	B	Jessica
5-7 Recap	Text, Lies And Videotape Text, Lies And Videotape - Joey does homework and gets ogled by Professor Creepy. Pacey sticks his nose in K. Lo's business. Dawson, God save us all, goes into therapy, where he talks endlessly about himself to a woman who looks younger than he is. And Jen? She has to sit around and flirt with the Head. Try not to think about where that might be going.	11.20.2001 11.27.2001	C-	Jessica
5-6 Recap	High Anxiety High Anxiety - Dawson gets wasted with Jack and the Frat Rats and blames Joey for the Flash's death! While Dawson's getting drunk, Charlie gets naked and lives to regret it, Pacey continues to mind his own beeswax, and Old Joey makes a brief appearance.	11.13.2001 11.17.2001	B-	Jessica
5-5 Recap	Use Your Disillusion Use Your Disillusion - Joey freaks. Dawson panics. Charlie cheats. Jen cries. Tobey visits. Jack acts like a jerk. Business as usual.	11.06.2001 11.11.2001	C	Jessica
5-4 Recap	The Long Goodbye The Long Goodbye - Capeside buries the Flash; Dawson cries and blames himself.	10.30.2001 11.02.2001	B	Jessica
5-3 Recap	Capeside Revisited Capeside Revisited - The Flash dies an incredibly humiliating death, reaching for an errant scoop of vanilla ice cream while behind the wheel. Also: Dawson announces that he's dropping out of USC; Jack joins a frat; Jen and Charlie try not have sex; and Joey and Pacey meet again.	10.23.2001 10.29.2001	C-	Jessica
5-2 Recap	The Lost Weekend The Lost Weekend - Dawson pays Joey a visit, and they just won't stop talking about their stupid relationship. Joey tries to drop Wilder's class, and he won't let her, because he's creepy as hell. Audrey insults Los Angeles, and Jen has sex with Charlie! Mmmm, Charlie.	10.16.2001 10.21.2001	C	Jessica
5-1 Recap	The Bostonians The Bostonians - Joey adjusts to college life, including a hilarious new roommate. Dawson makes an ass out of himself and gets fired from an internship in Hollywood. Jack and Jen ogle cute boys. Pacey has no lines and still lives on a boat. Everybody up to speed?	10.09.2001 10.13.2001	B-	Jessica
4-27 Extra	They control everything, except the viewer's attention span The Skulls - It's clear right away, as he stands next to his society brethren, that Townie Pacey is a little too swarthy to fit in with the rest of the Supermen. But will exposing their illegal antics bring him peace of mind, or horrible anonymous death? Key Grip draws on his own statistical analysis of members he knows of a secret unnamed society at a non-specific Ivy League school to ferret out the plausibility of this scenario. There's none.	03.26.2000 08.13.2001	D+	Key Grip
4-26 Extra	Jock Trap Disturbing Behavior - Combine Old Joey with a goth girl and meet Rachel Wagner. With the help of James Marsden and Ratcatcher Porno, she teaches some psycho brainwashed jocks a thing or two. And she doesn't even need a lunch tray!	07.23.1998 07.23.2001	C-	Shack
4-25 Extra	Vile Things Cruel Intentions 2 - CI:2 has sleaze, incoherent plot twists, gratuitous nudity, and a completely repellent main character. And yet, somehow it still manages to be boring.	01.20.2001 07.15.2001	N/A	Strega
4-24 Extra	Less Than Zero Gossip - Rich, bratty college students hang out in clubs, drink martinis, pretend that they're artists, give dumb speeches, and scheme to destroy each other's lives. It's like a bad urban eighties novel, but without the sex and drugs. And with an extra helping of bad.	04.20.2000 06.27.2001	N/A	Shack
4-23 Recap	That's what friends aren't for Coda - After all of Capeside behaves as though Dawson is going up with the space shuttle instead of just to college, Dawson and Joey kiss.	05.22.2001 05.26.2001	B-	Sars
4-22 Recap	Mortarbored The Graduate - Andie returns. Jack calls Tobey his boyfriend. Joey struggles to write her speech. Pacey graduates and bolts. The writers stretch a forty-minute story arc over a sixth consecutive episode.	05.15.2001 05.22.2001	C-	Sars
4-21 Recap	The Too-Long Goodbye Separation Anxiety - Dawson and Gretchen break up some more, again, when she leaves town. Pacey and Joey break up some more, again, when they go to a Worthington party. Jen agonizes over college some more, again, when Grams tries to sell the house. No Tobey. No Andie. No interest.	05.08.2001 05.13.2001	C+	Sars
4-20 Recap	Breaking the waves Promicide - Pacey comes out of left field to dump Joey in spectacular fashion; Gretchen makes it two for Witter by cutting Dawson loose, but at least we see that one coming. Also coming out of left field (geddit? "Coming out"?) is Jack, who fusses and fumes and finally kisses Tobey. Well, if by "kisses" you mean "rests his lips lifelessly on David Monahan's." Jen registers the dismay of all of us by getting drunk and puking.	05.01.2001 05.05.2001	C	Sars
4-19 Recap	Baby blues Late - Joey's period is late. Gretchen and Dawson argue. Lillian Leery is finally born. Jack helps Tobey deal with a hate crime. Contrivance gets thrown in the clink.	04.24.2001 04.25.2001	F	Sars
4-18 Recap	To live and die in Capeside Eastern Standard Time - Jen, with Joey along for moral support, "confronts" the "demons" in her past with her father. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Dawson and Gretchen have a quaint and folksy small-town Adventure Gone Wrong, almost have sex, and don't have sex, and then Gretchen "cries." Also, Pacey and Drue have "fun" at a local roadhouse, which ends in Drue hurling and Pacey scrapping with Doug. Yeah, it's a laugh a minute, folks.	04.17.2001 04.22.2001	C	Sars
4-17 Recap	Dear old golden rule days Admissions - Joey gets into Worthington, but can't go because she won't take out loans. No, really. No, seriously. Yes, you read that right. But...HERE he comes to save the DAY -- Dawson MOUSE! Then Joey admits to Dawson that she boinked Pacey. Whatever. Elsewhere, Jen delves into her past, Pacey broods, and Sars wakes up in the hospital with charcoal around her mouth.	04.10.2001 04.12.2001	C-	Sars
4-16 Recap	Lie lady lie Mind Games - Drue rigs the senior poll to make Dawson and Joey "Best Couple." Joey wigs; nobody else cares much, which belies Joey's claim that she doesn't care much either. Joey's face melts a lot. Dawson and Gretchen fight about sex; then Joey and Gretchen fight about Dawson, and Joey is all "neener neener, he still likes me better," and now I really really hate her. As of the end of the episode, nobody has broken up, but Dawson still doesn't know the truth, and Pacey is starting a slow burn. Elsewhere, Jen stalks her therapist.	02.27.2001 03.07.2001	C	Sars
4-16 Extra	Out And About Kerr Smith Comes Out Of The Frat-Boy Closet In Seventeen and Out - Kerr Smith's publicist puts her hand in Kerr's back and wiggles her fingers, and Kerr dispenses antediluvian dating advice to Seventeen readers. Then he does his bit for gay pride (and the Diesel clothing line, and Mach3 razors) in Out.	02.26.2001 02.26.2001	C-	Sars
4-15 Recap	The Scarlet N Four Stories - It stands for "not," and the writers associated with this antediluvian dreck each need to get fitted with one immediately.	02.13.2001 02.15.2001	F	Sars
4-14 Recap	Sex and Death A Winter's Tale - Joey and Pacey finally do it. Jen and Jack almost do it, but don't. Dawson kills Mr. Brooks.	02.06.2001 02.11.2001	D+	Sars
4-13 Recap	R U Experienced? Hopeless - Dawson gets in touch with his outer child, Tobey goes for the burn, and Joey and Pacey kick it 8:53-style. Again.	01.30.2001 02.03.2001	C	Sars
4-13 Extra	American Pie Scream - Mix one low-rent hack director, one low-rent hack writer, a Friend, a Salinger, Marilyn Manson's girlfriend, Freddie Prinze Jr.'s boyfriend, two cups pop-culture references, and about three tons of lame, hackneyed, self-aware irony. Whip until frothy. Bake ninety minutes at two hundred degrees, and garnish with several gallons of corn syrup and red food coloring. Warning: Not to be used for sexual purposes.	01.30.2001 01.30.2001	B-	Aaron
4-12 Recap	...and you smell like one too The Te Of Pacey - Pacey's birthday brings with it family discord, Continuity's escape and subsequent recapture, redemption for Tobey, and a replicant version of Sheriff Witter. Oh, and some really unpleasant imagery involving Dawson's groin. Bon appetit!	01.16.2001 01.23.2001	B-	Sars
4-11 Recap	Zen and the art of choking back the bile The Tao Of Dawson - Grams and Mr. Brooks find love in spite Dawson's snitty judgmental routine. Joey and Drue get locked in a storeroom. Gretchen faces off against her ex. Contrivance heads over to Sars's house and eats cream cheese with a knife.	01.09.2001 01.12.2001	D+	Sars
4-10 Recap	Make The Yuletide Gay Self Reliance - Or, if you're Jack, don't. Joey and Pacey do the fight-'n'-make-up thing some more, Mr. Brooks shows a bit of human frailty, Dawson prompts not a single homicidal thought, and millions of viewers wonder what happened to the real writers.	12.19.2000 12.21.2000	B-	Sars
4-10 Extra	The Stalking Of Laurie Show The Stalking Of Laurie Show - Showing concurrently: The Boring Of Aaron.	12.17.2000 12.17.2000	D+	Aaron
4-9 Recap	Have yourseeeeeelf a greeeeeeeeeasy little Christmaaaaaaas Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - Joey pussywhips Pacey into attending an alumni-schmooze function with her, then has a hissy when the alumni rep laughs at Pacey's jokes. Then the two of them make up in agonizingly long and schmoopy fashion, sending me into insulin shock in the process. Dawson and Mr. Brooks scuffle some more, then reach an understanding. Bye, Mr. Brooks. Grams, Jack, and Jen get stuck with a dumb subplot about Jen's college apps. Dawson kisses Gretchen. Symbolism helps itself to leftover pizza.	11.28.2000 12.02.2000	C	Sars
4-8 Recap	Keyser Snore-ze The Unusual Suspects - Principal Spinal Tap's schooner winds up in the Capeside High pool and Dawson, Jack, and Pacey become the prime suspects. After a great deal of moody fan-lit interrogation scenes, punctuated by the occasional snore from the Flash (word, my neckless friend), it is revealed that Dawson, Jack, and Pacey did nap the boat...but they pin the blame on Drue. Also, Lead Dad and his Homophobic Dad Gaggle boot Jack out of the coaching position.	11.21.2000 11.26.2000	C-	Sars
4-8 Extra	Final Destination Final Destination - Only the ginger snaps stand between Sars and death.	11.18.2000 11.18.2000	D+	Sars
4-7 Recap	Part One Of The Special Sars/Wing Chun Sweeps Crossover Event! You Had Me At Goodbye - Woo woo.	11.14.2000 11.16.2000	C-	Wing Chun
4-6 Recap	Chemical sisters Great Xpectations - Andie takes one of Jen's E tabs, blisses out, and keels over. Jack blames Jen. Angry McPhee brushes clods of soil off of his lapels and joins us in a beyond-the-grave cameo. Elsewhere, Gretchen and Dawson totally don't have anything going on. At all. Nothing. And the Dawson's Creek hair wrangler checks into rehab.	11.07.2000 11.07.2000	C+	Sars
4-5 Recap	A Family Way A Family Way - Dawson gives The Flash a "now what?" look. The Flash gives Gale a "well well, little lady" look. I give my stomach lining a "please don't hurt me" look.	10.31.2000 10.31.2000	F	Sars
4-4 Recap	Future Tense Future Tense - Joey smiles indulgently as Pacey continues to ramble that people spend their whole lives worrying about what the future will bring, and when the future arrives, they find out they needn't have bothered, and as The Skillet Of This Episode's Theme makes resounding contact with my skull, Pacey blathers something about Boy George and tosses a pillow off of Joey's bed.	10.24.2000 10.24.2000	C	Sars
4-3 Recap	The Two Gentlemen Of Capeside The Two Gentlemen Of Capeside - Hey, wait a sec. Do you think the writers want us to draw a parallel between The Two Gentlemen Of Verona and the Dawson-Joey-Pacey situation?	10.17.2000 10.17.2000	D+	Sars
4-2 Recap	Failing Down Failing Down - Welcome to the WB Wednesday night, in which viewers pinned under rocks, viewers named Rip Van Winkle, and viewers with absolutely no short-term memory learn that her choice. Changed. Everything. And fate. Will bring them. Back together. Don't get it? Go lie down.	10.10.2000 10.10.2000	D+	Sars
4-1 Recap	Coming Home Coming Home - Tonight, as the fourth season begins, she'll discover…her. Choice. Changed. Everything. Yes, yes. We know. We've seen the promos. We live in the world. For God's sweet sake, get on with it.	10.03.2000 10.03.2000	C-	Sars
3-24 Extra	Do Not Flaunt What You Haven't Got Do Not Flaunt* What You Haven’t Got* - Sars unmasks James Van Der Beek as -- surprise -- an ass and a half.	07.31.2000 07.31.2000	N/A	Sars
3-23 Recap	True Love True Love - Joey tries to scurry off, saying she has something borrowed but nothing blue yet -- isn't that just for the bride? -- but before she can escape, Dawson intones, "Shouldn't be too hard. Seems to be some of that going around these days." Huh?	05.23.2000 05.23.2000	D	Wing Chun
3-22 Recap	The Anti-Prom The Anti-Prom - Joey takes Dawson's guilt trip, but says she doesn't want a corsage and she doesn't want Dawson to wear a ruffly blue tuxedo shirt. "Done," Dawson says, staring at her all dewy-eyed.	05.16.2000 05.16.2000	D	Sars
3-21 Recap	Show Me Love Show Me Love - Apprehensive, Joey says nothing, but is probably mentally calculating how far away from this conversation she could get if she caught Dawson unawares and took off running.	05.09.2000 05.09.2000	D	Wing Chun
3-20 Recap	The Longest Day The Longest Day - As Pacey hoists her onto a counter, Joey protests weakly that they should get going: "It's your boat we're planning on christening." So that's what the kids call it these days.	05.02.2000 05.02.2000	D	Sars
3-19 Recap	Stolen Kisses Stolen Kisses - I would like to remind everyone of my remarks of March, 1999, in my recap of "Be Careful What You Wish For," in which Andie and Dawson got up on stage at the Contrivance Club and "sang" the "blues": "...if Dawson ever sings again, I will kill myself." Let's hope I can get through this episode without making the ultimate sacrifice.	04.25.2000 04.25.2000	D	Wing Chun
3-19 Extra	The Toque Interview The Toque Interview - Last summer, Wing Chun's sister Toque was an extra in the Joshua Jackson film The Skulls. At last, she unburdens herself of all the dish she accumulated on the set.	04.05.2000 04.05.2000	N/A	Wing Chun
3-18 Recap	Neverland Neverland - A few more seconds of smooching, during which Joey seems to give as good as she gets, and they break the kiss. After a moment of disorientation, Joey gives Pacey a hard shove in the chest, sending him staggering back a step.	04.04.2000 04.04.2000	D	Sars
3-18 Extra	If These Walls Could Talk 2 If These Walls Could Talk 2 - ...they'd tell Sharon Stone to comb her hair	03.27.2000 03.27.2000	N/A	Owen
3-17 Recap	Cinderella Story Cinderella Story - Joey chirps -- all together now: "Sometimes wishes come true." Instead of responding to this truism by projecting a spray of vomit all over Joey's American Eagle Outfitters coat, Pacey agrees that wishes do come true, but ultimately, reality creeps in.	02.29.2000 02.29.2000	N/A	Wing Chun
3-17 Extra	Boys in my hood Wonder Boys - So the boys came over last night to watch a Dawson's Creek horror triple-bill of Disturbing Behavior, The Skulls, and Halloween: H20 (followed by a second triple-bill of Final Destination, The Stalking of Laurie Show, and the unmitigated horror that was Varsity Blues). After that, we were convinced that the Creek kids were never gonna get their hands on a decent script, since it's clear they won't be seeing any in their day jobs. But the times, they are a-changing, and now Katie Holmes and I are taking on Oscar. And let me tell you, for a short gold guy with no arms, he's pretty tough. It's okay, though. I've got the home-field advantage.	02.24.2000 02.24.2000	N/A	Aaron
3-16 Recap	To Green, With Love To Green, With Love - A woman on the Board reads my mind by noting that "if you were doing your job as a parent, Mr. Caufield, maybe your son would still be in school right now," and as Dawson and Pacey clap for this sentiment, the woman continues that Matt has a file in the guidance office "over an inch thick." Joey raises her brows in a "ha!" way in Mr. C’s direction and says that Principal Green is a fair man.	02.15.2000 02.15.2000	D	Sars
3-15 Recap	Crime And Punishment Crime And Punishment - Joey even more distractedly asks what Pacey is getting at, and he explains that the world reveres an artist, and so does he, and therefore he's here to watch her paint in the hopes that some of her "genius" will rub off on him. The word has really lost its currency if it's being flung around at the likes of Joey.	02.08.2000 02.08.2000	D	Wing Chun
3-14 Recap	The Valentine's Day Massacre The Valentine's Day Massacre - Pacey mentions that a guy named Matt Caufield is throwing an anti-Valentine's bash. "Caufield"? I mean, the captioning says "Caufield," but I sense a mangled reference to Catcher In The Rye here. Ugh.	02.01.2000 02.01.2000	N/A	Sars
3-13 Recap	Northern Lights Northern Lights - Joey replies, "Sorry, Master Thespian, but the whole next page consists solely of cooing, tickling, and lap-sitting -- three things definitely not in my range as an actress." You don't have to tell us that, lady; we saw Teaching Mrs. Tingle. Oh, wait. No, we totally didn't. And that was why.	01.25.2000 01.25.2000	D	Wing Chun
3-12 Recap	A Weekend In The Country A Weekend In The Country - Joey whips open the door on a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses, one of whom hands her a tract as Joey glares over her shoulder at a laughing Pacey. Does the fun ever start?	01.18.2000 01.18.2000	D	Sars
3-11 Recap	Barefoot At Capefest Barefoot At Capefest - Dawson, exhibiting as much grasp on the way the world works as an especially dull three-year-old, whines, "There's a project that I want to start working on." Firmly, Nikki replies, "There's a project that I am working on."	01.11.2000 01.12.2000	N/A	Wing Chun
3-10 Recap	First Encounters Of The Close Kind First Encounters Of The Close Kind - Joey shrugs that she signed up for the college tour, so they’ve paired her off with a random student, and "those are the rules." Dawson asks if she’s nervous, and she says yes, "but in a good way." Cue The "As God Is My Witness, I Will Get The Hell Out Of Capeside One Day" Monologue Of The Week.	12.14.1999 12.14.1999	D	Sars
3-9 Recap	Four To Tango Four To Tango - Dawson asks if Pacey isn't forgetting something. Pacey says he doesn't think he is. Dawson points out that he's leaving wearing only one shoe. Ah, there's that non-comic non-relief we all know and love. Except for the "love" part.	11.30.1999 11.30.1999	D	Wing Chun
3-8 Recap	Guess Who's Coming To Dinner Guess Who's Coming To Dinner - Pacey says, "You know, Jen, when I suggested that we hook up today, this is not exactly what I had in mind." Jen says she knows that, but adds that "Grams’s Thanksgiving feast takes precedence over our burgeoning sex life." "Burgeoning"?	11.23.1999 11.23.1999	D	Sars
3-7 Recap	Escape From Witch Island Escape From Witch Island - Joey says, "So, basically you're ripping off The Blair Witch Project." Cut the "basically" part, and you've got it, Jo.	11.16.1999 11.16.1999	D	Wing Chun
3-6 Recap	Secrets And Lies Secrets And Lies - Dear Jen: Shut up. Signed, Sars, Whose Mother Served As A Junior-League President And Is Still Ten Times The Bad-Ass Feminist You Will Ever Be. Co-signed, The Rest Of The English-Speaking World.	11.09.1999 11.09.1999	D	Sars
3-5 Recap	Indian Summer Indian Summer - Dawson says that was a long time ago, "in a galaxy far, far away." From another room, Glark expresses resentment at the appropriation by Dawson's Creek of any and all Star Wars-related material.	10.26.1999 10.26.1999	D	Wing Chun
3-4 Recap	Home Movies Home Movies - I can’t imagine that a local-news station in Philadelphia would give a fiddler’s fart about high-school football in Cape Cod, but can someone please explain to me in which universe a news producer would consent to air footage shot by the teenage blunderkind son of the new anchor? I. Don’t. THINK SO.	10.19.1999 10.19.1999	D	Sars
3-3 Recap	None Of The Above None Of The Above - Eve says that's where she comes in, to shake things up. Dawson finishes her thought by calling her "the temptress who will test our hero's very moral fibre." Would that be his Moral Fruit and Fibre? I don't mind that, as long as his Meat and Two Veg stay out of it, to say nothing of his Frank and Beans.	10.12.1999 10.12.1999	D	Wing Chun
3-2 Recap	Homecoming Homecoming - Dawson says he can't find Eve, and Pacey asks if Dawson checked down at the strip joint, and Dawson mumbles, "Embarrassingly, yes," and adds that "it turns out she was a temp." Pacey echoes my thoughts by wondering, "Strip joints have temps?"	10.05.1999 10.05.1999	D	Sars
3-1 Recap	Like A Virgin Like A Virgin - Dawson opines that Risky Business is a modern myth: "Joseph Campbell meets Sigmund Freud meets Holden Caulfield." I need a nap.	09.28.1999 09.28.1999	D	Wing Chun
2-23 Extra	Annoying Mr. Shack Teaching Mrs. Tingle - Helen Mirren, basic tenets of continuity, and secondary education all take it in the patootie. Shack's skin crawls, and we don't mean figuratively. The word "irony" is, at long and well-overdue last, correctly defined.	08.10.1999 08.10.1999	N/A	Shack
2-22 Recap	Parental Discretion Advised Parental Discretion Advised - I only include the dialogue from the lead-in mood-setting expository-shorthand movie because it's the best line of the episode.	05.25.1999 05.25.1999	D	Wing Chun
2-21 Recap	Ch...Ch...Ch...Changes Ch…Ch…Ch…Changes - After Dawson whines about feeling the need to please people who dislike him (i.e. everyone), Joey "Right Soul, Wrong Mate" Potter tells him not to get his knickers in a twist: "It's your film final, this should be a no-brainer for you." Dawson non-modestly responds, "I know." Shut up, Dawson.	05.18.1999 05.18.1999	N/A	Sars
2-20 Recap	Reunited Reunited - Pacey says, "Let's face it, guys; we are thisfar away from the Peach Pit." The rest of the assemblage stares at him in stony silence for a moment, and then a not-at-all hackneyed and not-too-long pillow fight ensues. Except for the "not" part.	05.11.1999 05.11.1999	D	Wing Chun
2-19 Recap	Abby Morgan, Rest In Peace Abby Morgan, Rest In Peace - Joey comes over and sits down next to Jen and puts her arm around her as Jen begins to sob. Dawson looms over both of them, calculating precisely how this tragedy will affect him.	05.04.1999 05.04.1999	N/A	Sars
2-18 Recap	A Perfect Wedding A Perfect Wedding - Mr. Pothead tells Joey that he and Bessie were up early "scheming up" ways to make money. "Scheming" seems like an odd word choice for a man so recently sprung from prison, but, again, whatever.	04.17.1999 04.17.1999	D	Wing Chun
2-17 Recap	Psychic Friends Psychic Friends - Dawson says how much that means, especially coming from Joey, and Joey says that "there's no question about it -- Jack McPhee will be one of the great filmmakers of our generation." Oh, I get it -- it's a dream.	03.09.1999 03.09.1999	D	Sars
2-16 Recap	Be Careful What You Wish For Be Careful What You Wish For - Dawson continues: "I'm about to be sixteen years old in a matter of minutes and I am still me -- the same whiny, adolescent, big-talking, little-doing loser that I was a year ago." Pacey starts to disagree, but Dawson -- and all the readers of this site -- shout him down and, for once, take Dawson's side.	03.02.1999 03.02.1999	D	Wing Chun
2-15 Recap	...That Is The Question (2) …That Is The Question (2) - After a montage of scenes from previous episodes in which Jack "Ready Or Not, Here I Come" McPhee repeatedly avows his heterosexuality, we fade up on the Sanctum Dawsonorum.	02.16.2000 03.01.1999	N/A	Sars
2-14 Recap	To Be Or Not To Be... (1) To Be Or Not To Be… (1) - Jack says, "Sorry. I didn't mean that the way that came out." I have no comment on his choice of phrase.	02.09.2000 02.28.1999	N/A	Wing Chun
2-13 Recap	His Leading Lady His Leading Lady - Dawson just says brightly, “See you tomorrow, Joey,” and she puts on her coat and wishes him good night, but he still doesn't stop her, and she waits for another moment for him to keep her from leaving, but Dawson keeps looking at headshots (whatever), and Joey leaves reluctantly.	02.02.1999 02.02.1999	D	Sars
2-12 Recap	Uncharted Waters Uncharted Waters - Dawson answers, "Classic dysfunctional father-son relationship," and smirks, not feeling the slightest awkwardness about saying so to Pacey even though, if they've been friends all their lives, he must know that Pacey and his dad have problems.	01.26.1999 01.27.1999	N/A	Wing Chun
2-11 Recap	Sex, She Wrote Sex, She Wrote - Cut back to Jack 'n' Joey, Jack leaving, Joey bewildered. Cut back to Pacey watching Andie go inside and looking either proud or on the verge of giggling. Cut back to Jen watching Dawson lope across Grams' front lawn and looking kind of puffy and sad. End of Mysterious Who-Got-Busy Montage #1.	01.19.1999 01.19.1999	D	Sars
2-11 Extra	We could be heroes Varsity Blues - ...if James "Drawlson" Van Der Beek's whinging had any basis in reality, which it doesn't. And if we saw more of Scott Caan's ass, which we don't. And if anyone cared, which...well, no.	01.14.1999 01.14.1999	N/A	Shack
2-10 Recap	High Risk Behavior High Risk Behavior - Dawson continues: "This is the first time I've been able to write something that's not only plot-driven, but also emotionally-driven." Uh, Dawson, you better put your horn away before your tooting causes your lungs to collapse.	01.12.1999 01.12.1999	D	Wing Chun
2-9 Recap	The Election The Election - Um, Dawson, why don't you go down to Book Barn, buy about twenty copies of William Goldman's Adventures in the Screen Trade, stack them up, climb on top of them, and get over yourself?	12.15.1998 12.15.1998	D	Sars
2-8 Recap	The Reluctant Hero The Reluctant Hero - "Somebody's having a self-esteem crisis," observes Dawson. I have never heard any straight guy refer to any of his guy friends as "somebody" in that way. The only people who do that are girls, mothers, and gay men. You know it and I know it.	11.24.1998 11.24.1998	D	Wing Chun
2-7 Recap	The All-Nighter The All-Nighter - Dawson throws in another video and settles down on the bed which Gale so thoughtfully left littered with used Kleenex, and he looks mournfully out from under his Sam-The-Eagle forelock at the window (open. In Cape Cod. In November) which totally doesn't have Joey coming through it, and the curtains blow forlornly in the breeze, and Dawson sadly eats a Twizzler. Buck up, little camper!	11.17.1998 11.17.1998	D	Sars
2-6 Recap	The Dance The Dance - I just want to say to Katie and anyone else who might be reading this and wondering: no, boat-neck garments are still not acceptable. I don't care if Jackie O wore them.	11.10.1998 11.10.1998	D	Wing Chun
2-5 Recap	Full Moon Rising Full Moon Rising - Dawson starts babbling about the moon "casting its peaceful silent glow over a chaotic world -- I love a full moon," as he puts his arm around Joey with that buck-up-little-camper smile on his face.	11.03.1998 11.03.1998	D	Sars
2-4 Recap	Tamara's Return Tamara's Return - While I tried to keep my President's Choice Deluxe White Cheddar Macaroni and Cheese from making its encore all over the coffee table, Joey laughs at Dawson's maudlin attempts at smoove talk and tells him point blank, "Dawson, you are so cheesy!"	10.27.1998 10.27.1998	D	Wing Chun
2-3 Recap	Alternative Lifestyles Alternative Lifestyles - If I hear the phrase "sexual being" one more time I will extinguish a lit cigarette in my eye, and then The Flash repeats in confusion, "'Sexual being?'" and HISSSSSS, there goes my left cornea.	10.20.1998 10.20.1998	D	Sars
2-3 Recap	What Price Cable? What Price Cable? - Wing Chun and the cable industry meet head-to-head.	10.18.1998 10.18.1998	N/A	Wing Chun
2-2 Recap	Crossroads Crossroads - The camera pans over to Dawson's bed where he and Joey are going at it hotter and heavier and louder, and for a longer duration, than I personally care to see and hear.	10.13.1998 10.13.1998	D	Wing Chun
2-1 Recap	The Kiss The Kiss - Establishing shot of Chez Leery, with some estrogen-sodden Lilith Fair refugee crooning "say goodnight, not goodbye, you will never leave my heart" in the background. The camera pans up to the window of Dawson's bedroom, with the silhouette of Dawson and Joey kissing visible behind the shade.	10.06.1998 10.06.1998	D	Sars
1-13 Recap	Decisions Decisions - And now, I present to you the meta-statement portion of tonight's episode, as Joey declares: "Well, for the record, I'm getting pretty tired of the television. I mean, the metaphor alone is making me nauseous." What metaphor? The metaphor...of what? Never explained. Doesn't make a lick of sense.	05.18.1998 05.18.1998	D	Wing Chun
1-12 Recap	Beauty Contest Beauty Contest - Oh...oh dear. I'd forgotten about the pendant. It's in full effect, meticulously lain upon the collar of his sweatshirt, and not ignominiously hidden inside.	05.11.1998 05.11.1998	D	Wing Chun
1-11 Recap	The Scare The Scare - Dawson protests, "That movie rules! And I'm not just saying that because the man who wrote it gave birth to me, Zeus-like, fully-formed, from his massive forehead!"	05.04.1998 05.04.1998	D	Wing Chun
1-10 Recap	Double Date Double Date - Dawson says that there's "a certain way to handle these things," and he thought Jen would hold herself to "that standard." I'm wondering on what Dawson is basing this theory, given that Jen is the first girlfriend he has ever had.	04.27.1998 04.27.1998	D	Wing Chun
1-9 Recap	Road Trip Road Trip - Dawson groans and puts a pillow over his face. Joey leans over and puts her full weight on said pillow. Well, I wish she did; instead, she, along with North America, rolls her eyes and turns off the TV.	03.16.1998 03.16.1998	D	Wing Chun
1-8 Recap	Boyfriend Boyfriend - When Dawson turns to Joey for an answer, she’s already fallen asleep -- as I would have myself, except that Dawson’s non-subtly non-veiled description of himself as "not too self-involved" had me hurling into a bucket.	03.09.1998 03.09.1998	D+	Sars
1-7 Recap	Detention Detention - Dawson splutters that Jen wants to have sex with him, and Joey wryly finishes for him, "She just -- hasn’t gotten around to it?" The truth hurts; Dawson deploys his nostrils in the manner of space-shuttle landing gear, juts his chin out, and says coldly, "Let’s watch the movie, Joey."	03.02.1998 03.02.1998	D	Sars
1-6 Recap	Baby Baby - Dawson, feigning ignorance to the unresolved tension, claps his hands and says, "Great, so, next issue -- what to watch," like, buck up little camper!	02.23.1998 02.23.1998	C-	Sars
1-5 Recap	Hurricane Hurricane - Joey says no, she'll just see him tomorrow, and an awkward silence reigns as Joey puts on her shoes and Dawson -- whose hair looks like the mane of the lion in the Hanna-Barbera cartoons -- looks down at his feet.	02.16.1998 02.16.1998	D	Sars
1-4 Recap	Discovery Discovery - Cut to the videotape of TaMAHra looking guiltily aroused as Pacey "Name That Statute" Witter ravishes her neck with kisses, except that we can't see Pacey's face.	02.09.1998 02.09.1998	D+	Sars
1-3 Recap	Kiss Kiss - Oh, for god's sake -- it's "about" getting your tongue into Jen's mouth, Dawson, so do yourself and everyone else a favor and stop overthinking it.	02.02.1998 02.02.1998	N/A	Sars
1-2 Recap	Dance Dance - Dawson in turn corrects Joey, "It's an homage with a heavy allegorical slant." "Homage"? "Allegorical"? Mark those Sars Maalox Scorecards at "1 minute 10 seconds," folks.	01.26.1998 01.26.1998	C	Sars
1-1 Recap	Pilot Pilot - The first-season credits feature mugging by the cast as attempt to chuck one another into the water and generally give the khakis advertisers the most for their product-placement dollar.	01.19.1998 01.19.1998	N/A	Sars

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