Sidebar. Yes, sex is a big deal. Yes, losing your virginity is a scary prospect when you haven't done it yet. Yes, wanting to wait is perfectly valid, no matter what your reasons. BUT. Joey and Pacey just spent THREE MONTHS together on a TINY boat with nothing to do but each other, and while I find it wildly implausible that they wouldn't have had sex already in those circumstances, I find it completely and utterly unbelievable that they wouldn't have at least HAD THIS CONVERSATION at some point during the summer -- that Pacey wouldn't have tried to take it further, or asked for her reasons, or that Joey wouldn't have freaked out before now, or that the very scene we just saw wouldn't have played out about two days after they left port. The writers feel that they have to show it in order to keep us interested, I suppose, but the fact remains that it's lazy, non-credible writing. Why I expect better, I don't know.

All right, we've barely gotten past the opening credits and I've got many sidebars to go before I sleep, so let's move on.

A cluster of soccer moms chit-chat by their parked SUVs as we hear Jack "A Subplot Turns Its Lonely Eyes To You...Woo Woo Woo" McPhee saying he doesn't know why he got himself into this; he doesn't play soccer very well, he knows nothing about kids, and he's never coached anything in his life. Hey, that didn't stop The Flash. Pan over to the McPhees, kitted out in athletic-wear and heading towards the field as Andie "Final Countdown" McPhee tells Jack that "pee-wee soccer is a great opportunity to help mold young minds, teach them about teamwork and sportsmanship." Then she admits that it looks good on college apps, and offers to "take full responsibility" if it winds up sucking. "Damn straight," Jack grumbles. ["As it were." -- Wing Chun] They walk over to the kids, and Andie gives them a speech about enriching their lives, and the kids groan. Jack tells everyone who wants to have fun to raise their hands, and the kids all raise their hands and call out, "Me! Me!" except for one doughy blonde kid in braids. Jack bonds with Molly, the doughy blonde kid, who apparently doesn't talk and hates soccer, and wins over the rest of the kids with a short monologue on having fun and eating pizza after the games.