Adam Carolla strikes fear into the very marrow of my bones.
Bodie, Alexander "Awwww" Potter in his arms, comes out to the PB&B's front lawn to talk to a sulky Joey. "Interesting floor show earlier," he cracks, "though I'm not sure it's good for repeat business." Instead of apologizing for scaring the customers, Joey grumps that she doesn't "get" Bessie, and she knows she's not perfect, but a lot of kids do a lot of stupid things, so she thinks Bessie "lucked out" with her. Bodie agrees. "So why is she being so irrational?" Bodie explains that Bessie worries about Joey, "all the time, in fact," and doesn't want Joey to end up like her. I guess I see what he means, but really, what's wrong with ending up like Bessie? She's got a successful business, a cute and supportive boyfriend who can cook, and a happy and healthy child. Anyway, Bodie adds that Joey's the one "who's supposed to get out of" Capeside, and Bessie just wants to make sure that happens. Joey says that she hasn't decided yet whether to have sex, and she decided to get prepared, but getting prepared scared her, and from minute to minute she changes her mind, blah dee blah. Bodie says he can't tell her what to do; nobody can. But if she's not ready "to be prepared for sex," then she's probably not ready for sex. Joey thinks that over.
Reconciliation Ranch. Dawson comes downstairs to find his parents snuggling in front of the TV. He picks up the remote, turns off the set, tucks his hair smugly behind his ears, and announces that he has to leave for Mr. Brooks's soon, but he wants to talk to them about how he feels about their situation. Nobody asked you, Dawson. Stow it. Gale doesn't register anything except exhaustion; The Flash just stares into space. Dawson goes on to say that Gale said she'd considered all the facts, but there's one fact Dawson doesn't think she has, and he wants to make sure she knows it before she goes ahead with her decision. Then he tells her that trying to give birth to another child with a hydrocephalic skull could kill her, and he doesn't want her to risk -- oh, wait. No, actually he tells her, "You are the best mother that I know. And you are wrong if you think that you've disappointed me at every turn, Mom -- all you've done is make me proud."
Gale beams at him as he continues, "You're not afraid to make mistakes...and then to pick up and to keep going and keep trying new things, and I owe so much of who I am to you. To both of you." The Flash shoots a quick smile at Gale, who keeps beaming tearfully at Dawson; Dawson sits on the edge of the coffee table and says that he used to idealize "this perfect childhood," but his parents gave him something better, "something real," and if he had it to do over, he wouldn't change a thing. He winds up Schmaltzterpiece Theater by telling them that if they're half the parents to their "next kid" that they were to him, that kid will be "the luckiest kid in the whole world." Well, except in the older-sibling department. "Thank you, honey," Gale whispers weepily, and she and Dawson hug. "It's gonna be okay," he tells her.