The Only Clinic In Town. Gale sips water from a Dixie cup. The Flash takes a deep breath and says he's done some thinking blah blah blah he knows "this is terrifying" blah blah blah "so many cards stacked against us" blah blah blah "don't worry about Dawson" blah blah blah encouragement-cakes. Gale sighs deeply before reminding him that sending Dawson to college on top of raising another child will put them even further in debt, and "we're not exactly twenty-five-year-olds anymore" (amen) and "that's twenty more years that we would have to commit" to the new arrival, "not to mention what we've put Dawson through these past few years." All of which he deserved, Gale, so stop letting your smugly self-absorbed son run your lives. The Flash says that that won't happen again; Gale shrugs sadly and says that they probably should have "thought about this" before now. The Flash tells her that "you're pregnant now -- that's the reality." Thanks for the tip, Dr. Spock. Gale sighs again and points out that she's pregnant, but she doesn't have to "stay that way," and if she had to decide "right this second," she wouldn't. The Flash stares at her, clearly taken aback, as we fade awkwardly to commercial.
Pee-wee soccer practice. A slender woman with fluffy hair comes up to Jack and comments on how it's "so tragic" that parents send their kids out onto the field "for one last grasp at vicarious glory." Okay, a lot of parents do that...but not with six-year-olds. And..."grasp"? Shut up, Fluffy. Fluffy introduces herself as Caroline, Molly's older sister, and explains the difference in their ages to an uncomfortable Jack, adding, "That would make me twenty-eight, in case you were wondering." Yeah, right. If Caroline's twenty-eight, I'm Strom fucking Thurmond. Dear casting director: Please require a screen test from the actresses so you don't wind up casting a woman who can remember the days before electricity as a twentysomething, m'kay? Great. Anyway, non-witty banter ensues in which Caroline learns that Jack is eighteen and that Andie is his sister and not his girlfriend, and in which she says that she's flirting with him (about as gracefully as The Dukes Of Hazzard's Uncle Jesse in a pair of toe shoes, might I add), and Jack stammers a lot and says he's "flattered, but..." Caroline talks right over him, guessing that she's coming on too strong and that Jack is shy, and there's more non-witty flirtation from Caroline, and while the actress continues to trample her own lines, not only by standing with her arms crossed over her chest in the body-language opposite of "seductive," but also by reading them in a sarcastic tone that suggests she's joking, the scene stretches out so long that time begins to bend inwards towards itself in some torturous perversion of Einsteinian principle that unfortunately does not place me on the opposite side of the universe from my VCR. Finally, moments before I become one with Big Bang theory, Caroline takes her leave, saying she'll see Jack's "sweet face" tomorrow. Jack shakes his head about a hundred times.