Props to Emgrrl, Slinky, and Sars.

For once, it's a good thing that the WB provides "previously on Dawson's Creek" scenes since I barely remember what happened the last time this fool show was on. Oh yeah, Jen broke up with Ty because he treated her like a ho. Oh yeah, La Filmette (tm Emgrrl) cruelly dismissed Dawson's crappy-ass movie. Oh yeah, Joey's dad got out of the slammer. Now I'm up to date.

This week, we start out in the Sanctum Dawsonorum, where the final moments of Dawson's masturpiece -- Rachael Leigh "She's Not Even in the Same Zip Code as All That" Cook rowing her boat on the creek -- are playing on the TV in his room. As the screen goes black, Dawson "It's Not Oatmeal" Leery turns to Mrs. Flash, whose leathery visage, under her poodled hair, cracks into a huge grin, and who says, "Dawson, that was...very impressive. It was moving, it was funny, it was real --" Dawson scoffs, "You're saying this because you're my mother." Mrs. Flash protests, "No, I'm not! You are incredibly talented!" Dawson rightly remarks, "You are incredibly biased. You know what? I had such a distinct, clear vision for this movie. I saw every moment; I heard every word of dialogue. I guess I just failed to translate that vision onto film." He then wonders aloud as to what will happen if he can never translate any of his "visions" to film. Mrs. Flash tells him, "The trick is to stay tenacious, and not let any minor -- and in this case, very minor -- setback derail your vision." Dawson tentatively says, "I suppose I could re-edit it...." Mrs. Flash, a little too fast, exclaims, "There you go! Your film may not be Citizen Kane, but it's not Bride of Chucky either." Dawson pouts, "The way my film teacher described it, you'd think it was the worst, most expensive piece of junk ever captured on film." Mrs. Flash gets up off the bed, sighing, "That is just one person's opinion. And, um, speaking of teachers at your school..." and of graceless transitions, "how's your father enjoying his new profession?" Dawson says, "He likes it, I think. It's kind of weird to see him in the teachers' lounge consorting with the enemy. You really miss him, don't you?" Mrs. Flash says, "Lately more than ever." "Lately?" Too much information! Dawson says, "If you know what you want, maybe you should take your own advice." Mrs. Flash says, "Maybe," and wanders out as the mewling opening credits begin.