Big thanks to Shack for sitting in for me last week! I surely appreciate it. Previously on Dawson's Creek Has Got To Be Almost Over For The Season Because, My God, My Fingers Hurt: Jack had an unfortunate run-in with Ambiguously Gay Eric (tm C-Span), which led to Jack leaving his fraternity; Dawson met the fairly cute, basically non-annoying film critic Amy Lloyd; Jack confessed that he was flunking out of school; and Sherilyn Fenn took over Liberty Hell, fired Audrey, and kissed Pacey.

Fade in on Pacey, still living at Chef Danny's, taking groceries out of a bleached cotton tote bag. Nothing's manlier than a nineteen-year-old boy carrying cutesy little tote bags full of arugula. Jack's studying at Pacey's breakfast bar. He looks pained. Studying will do that to you, I find. Especially when you haven't been to class. I once threw my linguistics book (Pintupi Country, Pintupi Self) against the wall. I still have it; the side is all smashed in. Anyway, Pacey makes some snippy comment about Jack's silly spring break suicide attempt; Jack retorts that having Dawson heave you out of the bottom of a pool forces you to change your ways. Pacey takes some canned tomatoes out of his Environmentally Friendly Bag O' Organically Grown Fruits And Veg and agrees that Jack's spring break shenanigans "do qualify [him] for rock bottom." Jack tells Pacey that all he has to do is master "advanced multivariable calculus" in order to stay in school, and therefore get his life back. Here's my question: why the hell is Jack taking multivariable calculus? According to the Desktops (and just insert the standard "why are plot points explained on the Desktops and not the show?" rant here), he was enrolled in the class by his fraternity brothers. Leaving aside the fact that they'd have to know, like, his security code and student ID or Social Security number to do that, there's no explanation for why Jack didn't drop the class as soon as he found out he was enrolled. Pacey tells Jack he'll be at the restaurant all night, and he's welcome to study at Chef Danny's. Jack shakes his head and gets up, putting his math book into his backpack. "I think it's okay to get back to Grams'," he says. "She and Mr. Smalls have to be done practicing choir by now." Pacey snorts that he doesn't think Grams and Clifton are really just singing songs about Jesus. Jack stares at him. "Please. Don't try to take the myth away from me, all right? There are some things we just don't have to know about," he says. He turns to go. "Does being propositioned by your boss count as one of those things?" Pacey calls after him.