Jack turns around. "New boss? Boss that fired Audrey?" Jack asks. "Boss that kissed me directly after I asked her to give Audrey her job back, boss," Pacey clarifies. Jack sputters that this is "sexual harassment!" Pacey snorts that he thinks Audrey would concentrate more on "the sexual and not the harassment." Jack thinks about this, then advises Pacey to keep his mouth shut about the entire thing. Pacey spews some crap about honesty being the cornerstone of his relationship with Audrey, which is totally true except for the part where Audrey lies to him every week about, say, the number of men she's slept with or the nature of her relationship with stupid faux movie stars. "She kissed her old boyfriend at spring break and told me," Pacey says. No, Pacey, you walked in on that. Although I suppose you could argue that she was planning to tell you, but I suspect that's just because she knew you were going to figure it out anyway. And how quickly has the worm turned for Audrey and me! Three weeks ago, she was delightfully sassy. Now, she just won't stop screeching and I sort of want to duct tape her mouth shut. I think it all stems from how irritated I still am at the way the writers handled her sexual history. See, she loves Pacey! And she's really not slutty at all! Feel free to embrace her as a proper consort for Prince Pacey! Embrace her! LOVE HER! And when I once adored her, now I'm all, "Audrey, shut up." Jack asks Pacey if the Kissing His Boss thing is going to happen again. Pacey hems and haws. From this hemming and hawing, Jack deduces that Alex must be "hot." Pacey's brows race toward his hairline. "I was a victim of unwanted sexual advances!" he squeaks. "So, how hot is she?" Jack asks. Pacey just gestures with his chin. Alex, of course, is standing right behind Jack, because Rule #7 of Predictable Television is "Whomever you are talking about will turn out to be standing right behind you 80 percent of the time." Jack turns and gets an eyeful of the erstwhile Audrey Horne, who is starting to look like Courteney Cox Arquette to me, all bony face and flat hair and really overplucked eyebrows. It's sad, because Sherilyn Fenn was so spectacular as Audrey Horne. And actually I saw a spread on her house in InStyle a couple of months ago, and she looked stunning in that, too. I think that maybe the blown-out hair is the culprit; she needs some volume around her face. Or something. Anyway. "Hi," Alex purrs at Jack. Who stammers and stutters and forgets his name. No, really -- he introduces himself as "Jake" before managing to remember that his name is Jack and he's SUPPOSED TO BE GAY. He turns to Pacey. "You, my friend, are in trouble," he says.
Episode Report CardJessica: B- | 610 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT