The commotion draws Alex into the kitchen. She basically tells the two of them to cut the histrionics, then welcomes Audrey back into the fold. She walks back into the restaurant, and Audrey does some more narrow-eyed complaining. Pacey clasps his hands to his head. "What is it that I'm missing?" he asks. "God! Everything!" Audrey yelps. "I'm quitting," she then says, and stomps out. I'm not quite sure what she wants from Pacey, here; does she want him to quit this plum job that he never should have in the first place because she can't trust him not to bone his boss? Because that sounds more like her problem than his, frankly.
Next, Amy and Dawson have a long and boring conversation with no relevance to the plot at all. It's peppered with references to movies, however, and Dawson's knowledge of film makes Amy want to have sex with him. So she does.
Apres le sex. It's going to be hard for me to recap the rest of this episode -- nay, this season -- because I am now totally stone blind. The last thing I saw before God turned out the lights was Dawson's nipple hair. Blindness is sweet, sweet relief. He and Amy talk some more about movies before Dawson spies Amy's thesis film, just oh-so-conveniently sitting there on the bedside table although she's surely been out of school for a good five to ten years. I know I certainly don't leave my senior thesis paper sitting around my living room, and it was pretty good. And funnnnnnnny! Okay, not really all that funny. Dawson suggests that they pop it in the VCR and take a look-see. Amy refuses. Don't ask me why the tape is lying around if Amy hates it so much. Contrivance must have left it out last time it came by.
Library. Audrey plops down in a chair next to Joey, complaining that "boys suck." Joey really doesn't care, but she's "legally required to be here for [Audrey]," so she sets aside Beowulf to listen to Audrey do her Alvin and the Chipmunks routine, squealing and squawking that she thinks Pacey is cheating on her. Joey rolls her eyes and tells Audrey that Pacey's no cheater. Audrey points out that Alex is a powerful force. "She's a femme fatale with an MBA on How To Take Your Man Away," she says. There are so many things wrong with this plot, not the least of which being that Audrey has become yet another girl who is completely defined by her relationship with one of the boys on the show. I liked her much better when she was a smart-mouthed tramp. Joey rolls her eyes and opines that Audrey "needs to be medicated." For once, Joey and I are in agreement; the way Audrey's been shrieking like a harridan lately, I'm beginning to think that she needs a happy pill. Or some weed. Audrey muses that she's sure Pacey is "keeping something" from her. Joey wearily suggests that maybe he's having problems with his coworkers or something. "Not everything is about you, Audrey," she says. Audrey, of course, doesn't buy that theory. Joey, clearly desperate to get back to cramming, offers that maybe Pacey is planning a surprise for Audrey or getting her a present. This, of course, appeases Audrey, who reacts like a two-year-old with a set of car keys and starts cooing about all the nice things Pacey might be buying her. Joey finally reminds her that they have finals to prepare for, and Audrey gets her books out of her bag.