Dawson's Creek
Alternative Lifestyles

Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 1 USERS: A+
Alternative Lifestyles

Cut to sunset and scenes of Capeside, and then to the Icehouse. Jack "Clueless Wonder" McPhee gets bitched out by Joey for not knowing how to mop. Jack: "I know I made a few blunders" -- first among them: auditioning for this show - "but I'm not a screw-up." Whatever. Bessie comes in and wants to know if something flooded. Another health-inspection-paranoia conversation. Joey worries aloud about her project. Bessie offers to help by saying that she is "virtually a single career mother," and I hoped this would segue into an explanation of her boyfriend's mysterious disappearance, but it didn't. Joey tells Bessie no thanks, she has to do a model of a successful single career mother. Ouch. Bessie says she might not have a big income, but she does know how to budget money, so she could still help; Joey says Bessie's right, she does need advice, and that she will find a different single career woman and ask her for help. Ouch. Bessie says don't bother, she can help Joey with the assignment. Joey points out that Bessie "can barely get [her] bills paid on time" and that she would really rather talk to someone else. Ouch.

Cut to some sort of coffeehouse, where we see that fascinating study in personality contrasts, Pacey and Andie. Well, all except for the "fascinating" part. As they work on their project, they come into conflict -- what a surprise! Andie wants to stay within their budget, but Pacey wants a sportscar instead -- go figure! Andie wants a "divorce," and Pacey says, fine, you keep the kids, I'll take the car, and Andie calls him a male stereotype -- nope, didn't see that coming at all! When they decide to go "apartment-scouting" together, I don't care that much -- who'd have guessed!

The Flash, outside, in a sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off (no comment), sanding his boat (again, no comment). A car pulls up, and the Faithless Hussy gets out and the male driver gets out, and the Hussy kisses the male driver good-bye as minor-key music of betrayal tootles in the background and The Flash glowers. Gale chirps, "Hi, honey. Where's Dawson?" The Flash growls, "He's next door, studying." Gale, lowering her barely-covered butt into a seat: "What a day." The Flash, sulking: "Yeah, I'll bet." Apparently, Gale's car wouldn't start and Frank from accounting had to give her a ride home, and Mitch wants to know why she didn't just call him, and Gale wants Mitch not to get mad about her getting a ride from Frank in accounting, and Mitch can't help not trusting her anymore and doesn't know how to get the trust and honesty back, and he starts thinking aloud about open marriage: "Look, maybe by taking away the rules, I can take away the need to trust you, and we can get back some of what we've lost." Gale: "Meaning?" Mitch: "Meaning from now on, Thursday night is date night. We can go out with whomever we want, do whatever we want, whenever we want, and the only rule is we're honest about it. See, there's no need to lie. An open marriage allows us that," and then he walks off, probably to call Frank from accounting and ask him out on a date, while Gale just sits there looking dismayed, and Mitch needs either to suck it up and get over himself or to kick Gale's straying ass out of the house, but going out on dates with a woman not his wife when he has a dependent child in the house does not constitute appropriate behavior, period, full stop. Oh, and one tiny little barely audible snap to Mitch for correct use of "whomever."

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Dawson's Creek




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