Dawson's Creek
Alternative Lifestyles

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Alternative Lifestyles

Cut to a special about truffles on the Food Network -- oops, my bad, cut to Jen's bedroom with Jen and Dawson budgeting for their "family," and Grams must have gone out to play bingo because if she doesn't like Jen saying the word "hell," somehow I don't think she'd tolerate Jen entertaining a boy in her room. Dawson wants to send their kids to state school to save money; Jen says, "Dawson, if we had kids, they'd be Ivy League material." Jen, if you had kids, they'd wind up in a BLT.

Dawson bitches about the cost of educating their children, and Jen makes a big show of laughing at "this conversation -- listen to us, we're talking about our mortgages, how we're going to afford to send our kids to college," and Dawson totally doesn't take the bait as Jen flops down on her bed all sausaged into her tight jeans and pale pink top (no comment) and says, "I don't know, it's like we're actually married. Who knows -- twenty years on down the line, could be us," as Dawson sort of snorts uncomfortably and changes the subject to their unrealistic travel expenses, and they talk about where they should go on vacation and kick around ideas like Hawaii and Jamaica and Fiji, and Jen rolls off the bed and comes to sit next to Dawson as he wonders if they should take their kids on vacation with them, and Jen says no, their college-age kids wouldn't want to come anyway and if the two of them go alone "it's much more romantic," and Dawson just stares down at his notebook as the viewing audience collectively cringes, but Jen doesn't stop there. She leans in towards him all porquettishly (sort of tm Wing) and simpering, "God, Dawson, we've agreed on practically every aspect of married life, I don't think we could really be more compatible," and Dawson snorts again and refuses to look at Jen, and Jen rests her chin on his shoulder and says, "You know, it's kind of a relief to see that you and me [sic] can still hang out, you know?" and Dawson uneasily says, "Yeah," and Jen rests her whole head on Dawson's shoulder and says, "I mean, it's funny, there's [sic] moments when it feels like nothing's really changed between us," and as the 150-watt lightbulb that Jen has been screwing in FINALLY lights up over Dawson's head, Jen says, "Like right now," and gazes into his eyes, and Dawson looks mortified and nods awkwardly and snorts again and says, "Well, we've probably done enough work for tonight, what do you think?" as he gets up and gathers his things to bolt, and Jen gets up too and says, "Dawson, uh, if you happen to get any inspiration on the assignment or, you know, just want to talk, whatever -- I'm here for you. My door is always open. If you know what I mean," with a winsome smile of invitation. Jen, reel in that line already -- THE FISH AIN'T BITIN' TODAY. Dawson says, "Yeah, I think so. I'll see you tomorrow," and flees as Jen sighs with disappointment.

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Dawson's Creek

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