Dawson's Creek
Alternative Lifestyles

Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 1 USERS: A+
Alternative Lifestyles

On the front porch of the Scarlet A Ranch, Joey invites Dawson to come with her to the Icehouse to help her help Bessie clean up, but Dawson declines because he has to finish his project with Jen. Joey singsongs, "Mine's done," and tells him that Laura "practically did the whole thing," and offered her an internship any time she wants it, and that she realized she could run her own company or own her own business someday, and Dawson says, "See? Looks like Joey has some career aspirations after all," in that insufferable buck-up-little-camper tone of voice. As Joey shrugs self-deprecatingly, Gale breezes out the front door and tells Dawson that if The Flash comes home, "[T]ell him that, since it's Thursday night, I've gone out." Dawson: "When will you be back?" Gale: "Later." Dawson tells Joey, "I have given up trying to figure out my parents. It's just -- things are really weird right now," as Joey gives him the raised eyebrow and then in a flirtatious tone of voice asks, "Do you think maybe we should take advantage of this momentary lack of supervision?" and they start kissing. You have to hand it to the sound guy - I can hear individual bubbles of saliva bursting. Anyway, once again the lip mic distortion drowns out the advancing footsteps of an unwanted visitor, this time in the form of Jen, who has on a diaphanous blue slip dress with brown trim, and she says, "Hi," and as Mr. Happy deflates Dawson says, "Hey," and Jen says, "If I'm interrupting something, I can just come back later," and Joey says, "No, actually, I was just leaving," and makes sure to give Dawson a kiss and a "whatever" face as she goes, and she passes Jen on her way to the door and says, "Nice dress," and Jen says, "Thanks, I borrowed it," and Joey coldly says, "I bet," and the judges have scored this exchange Joey 1, Jen 0. Dawson rubs his face and says, "So, where do you want to do this?" and Jen says in way too sultry voice for a study session, "Somewhere we can be comfortable. Let's go to your bedroom," and vamps her way into the house as I go downstairs to sign off on the delivery of a case of cherry Maalox.

Over at the Roach Coach, I mean Icehouse, the so-called same-sex couple get into a so-called lovers' quarrel about whether they should have two Range Rovers or a fancy honeymoon, and they storm out of the restaurant and past Joey with one telling the other, "You're so selfish. Why do you have to act like that?" and the other one saying, "Oh, I'm selfish?" and if you listen closely you can hear Trent Lott slapping his knee and guffawing, "Oh, those kooky gay folks." Joey gives them a weird look and apologizes to Bessie for being late. Bessie and Jack both look like hell, as does the restaurant, since according to Jack they "got slammed," as IF everyone on the Cape had a sudden craving for cod cheeks on a stick, and Joey tells Bessie that she told Laura about "[their] financial problems" and that Laura came up with some suggestions, and Bessie gets all defensive about the "super-successful career woman" helping them and says she doesn't need Laura telling her how she should do, she needs Joey to help her get ready for the inspection tomorrow. Joey throws Bessie attitude about all the work Bessie makes her do and how she feels like Bessie's "full-time slave" and says she actually has "a life" (no comment) and doesn't have time to do all of Bessie's scutwork, and as Jack puts in his usual bad-timing appearance to ask where the tablecloths go, Bessie says, "Joey, I'm really sorry my baby and I are cramping your style. Why don't you go home? Jack and I have it covered." Joey juts out her jaw, Jack looks at her warily, and Joey splits.

An ad for yet another madcap Adam Sandler movie that looks hilarious. Oh, wait -- no, it totally doesn't.

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Dawson's Creek




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