Props to Liz, Mister Patrick Leswick, Sars, and Glark, whose industry this weekend has truly shamed me.
Previously on Dawson's Creek: Jen ripped out Henry's heart, hammered it flat with a meat tenderizer, then sat on it and cut one; Andie decided that she had to keep busy, because if she stopped she'd realize how badly she hurt Pacey; Dawson met "cute" with Nikki and discovered that her father is Principatundé; Ethan intrigued Jack (and bored everyone else) with his world-weary man-of-the-Cape routine.
Through the panes of a glass door at Capeside High, we see Joey "Hot for T.A." Potter and Dawson "Alfred Bitchcock" Leery walking, unfortunately, toward us. Joey is asking Dawson, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you already own a camera?" What? He does? What, is he into filmmaking or something? Well, this is a fine time to spring that on the viewers. Dawson agrees that he does, but it's just a video camera. Joey asks what the difference is, and he says, "Well, imagine Schindler's List shot on a family camcorder." Okay. Can I also "imagine" that you didn't just compare your little cinematic doodles (emphasis on "doo" as in "DOO-DOO") to Schindler's List? Cool, thanks. He continues: "Video's a great format to learn on, but the look and feel is [sic] strictly amateur." Well, then it sounds to me like video is perfectly suited to...nah, I'll just let that one slide. He winds it up with some more blah blah blah filmcakes, indicating a poster of "the Arriflex," the school's only 16mm camera. They arrive at the door of a storage room filled with film cans and Nikki "Thunder Stealer" Green, who agrees that the camera "is a beauty." Apparently realizing that he won't be doing anymore auteurish pontificating in this scene, Dawson asks Nikki, in his most deflated tone of voice, what she's doing there. She says she's doing extra-credit work for Jordan's film class, with the bonus that she gets "to be near all the equipment." Dawson drawls, "Ah. How very earnest of you." If that isn't the pot calling the kettle "earnest," I don't know what is, Dawson, and you're clearly just bitter that you didn't think to offer your services to Jordan first. And by "services," I mean "lips," and by "Jordan" I mean "Jordan's ass." Joey is silent throughout this exchange, until Nikki addresses her: "You're Joey, right?" Joey confirms that she is, and adds, "I've heard wonderful things about your film." Nikki deadpans, "Really? From who?" and then they all smile. Well, that was kind of cute. Dawson says, "Speaking of equipment, hand her over." While pushing it past him on an A/V cart, Nikki says that the Arriflex has already been checked out. Dawson opines that that's "highly unlikely," and Nikki says that even so, it's "completely true." It turns out that Nikki's already had the camera for a week and has booked it for the next four weeks straight, as well. Dawson tells her there's a one-week maximum, and Nikki says that she's already cleared it with Mr. Jordan. Dawson, exhibiting as much grasp on the way the world works as an especially dull three-year-old, whines, "There's a project that I want to start working on." Firmly, Nikki replies, "There's a project that I am working on." Dawson sighs (and does so loudly enough that the closed captions read "[SIGHS]") and asks when he will be able to take the camera. Nikki tells him he can have it when she's finished with it. Yeah, she knows what time it is. Joey smirks. Dawson asks when that will be, and Nikki tartly replies, "Filmmaking is not fast food, Dawson; you can't rush it." Joey snickers silently. Dawson maintains a "well, I never" look as the opening theme song swells, and my patience contracts.