Okay, between the "things coming together" Jetta ad set in New Orleans, and the Jetta ad where Boo-boo comes to pick up his grandfather at the nursing home and take him to Las Vegas, Volkswagen should put its ad agency on permanent retainer. On the other hand, the less said about Slim Jim's ad agency, the better. And I like the music in that soccer-themed Adidas ad.
Over at the No-Fault Hacienda, preparations for the party are underway, and Joey muses to Bessie that there's not much point in her throwing a birthday party for someone who hates her right now. Bessie says that Dawson will probably be in a great mood by the time he gets to the party.
Then we cut to Sheriff Witter's cop car, where Dawson is giving Bessie the lie by scowling with intense determination. Andie is sitting in the back, all but bouncing up and down with nervous energy, saying how excited she is to be in the back of a police cruiser, and suggesting that they turn on the siren. Indulgently, Pacey opines that that wouldn't be such a good idea. Andie pouts at him and then starts making siren noises herself and says, "So this is what it's like when they cart you off to prison, huh?" Dawson morosely says, "Depends. There's more than one kind of prison. There's [sic] the state-regulated ones, and then there are ones that you're trapped in when your life is going nowhere and everyone else around you seems to be moving forward." Excuse me while I break out the world's tiniest violin and start playing that old standard, "Shut Up," on it. Pacey says, "Took a happiness pill this morning, did we, Dawson?" Dawson says, "No, just a strong does of bleak reality. No offense, but have you noticed that my only birthday plans are to play third wheel to my friend and his girlfriend?" Pacey basically tells him to shut up since it's his birthday and he should focus on the positive. Andie screeches, "Stop the car!" The car squeals to a halt and Pacey asks what they hit. Andie says they didn't hit anything, but she just "saw a really cool place back there." Pacey turns around and says, "Okay, Andie? Could we keep this impulsive streak that you're trying to indulge tonight from killing everyone in this car? Please? Honey?" Andie says, "Doctor's orders! Remember, Pacey? You promised me I could cut loose tonight." Pacey agrees that he did and turns the car around.
Elsewhere, Jack approaches the No-Fault Hacienda with evident nervousness, and a new hairstyle reminiscent of either Noah Hunter or Tintin. Unfortunately, Abby and her two minions are loitering just inside the door. One of Abby's cronies tells Jack he looks "amazing!" Abby says, "It's like the transformation from John-Boy to John-John was all in a jar of Dippity-Do!" Jack downplays it and tries to get away from them, but Abby won't let him escape: "I guess you get gay, you get style. I wish I'd nabbed you one sexual preference ago." Jack makes a whatever face and leaves.
Elsewhere in the Hacienda, Jen is putting her huge present on a table and as Ty comes up behind her, they continue their stupid test of whether Jen can tell when Ty is watching her. Whatever. Once again, they get to kissing, and once again, Ty makes Jen cool her proverbial jets, only this time she calls him on it. Ty says, "Hey, it's just that we've been getting closer, you know?" Jen says, "I know, it's called dating." Ty says, "I realize that, but when does it...stop?" Jen says, "You're kidding, right?" Ty says, "Jen, you...you turn me on, and the closer we get, the more you. Turn. Me. On." Jen says, "That's not such a bad thing." Ty says, "All I'm saying is that it's possible that things could get out of hand." Jen smiles and moves in closer, putting her arms around his waist, and says, "Really? How 'out of hand'?" Ty says, "I'm serious." Jen says, "I mean, we've barely made out and already you're worried about things going out of hand? Sweet. In a very 1956 sort of way." Ty says, "Really? Well, how 1956 is this?" and kisses her some more. Whatever.