At the yacht club, the camera pans across a row of generically attractive, mostly blonde, young women, with a very smug Pacey on the aisle. A gaggle of contestants hurries over to greet a tall brunette with a Suave-commercial haircut, and, as she sits down behind him, Pacey mutters, "Well, if it isn't Hannah von Wenning of the Bar Harbor von Wennings." She leans forward to snot, "Pacey Witter. Let me guess -- you're here washing dishes for the remedial work-study program for Capeside's underprivileged youths?" Adopting a tearful mien, Pacey says, "That's so compassionate of you, Hannah!" adding, in his normal voice, "So how's the Swiss boarding school?" She tells him it's in Connecticut, and then realizes, "Wait, you're the guy entering this contest? It figures -- class clown of Capeside High. You know, I never figured you for a pre-op transsexual, but now that I think about it -- evening gowns, high heels...." He assures her that his "sexuality is intact," noting that he's not the one taking group showers at an all-girls school, "but given the opportunity...." Some low-rent Mary Jo Rupp-alike appears onstage with the current Miss Windjammer and effusively calls out, "Welcome, ladies!" Pacey raises a hand and loudly clears his throat, and Mrs. Windjammer bitterly adds, "And gentleman." There is a smattering of laughter as Mrs. Windjammer goes through her spiel: rules, handbooks that "will be completely revised for next year," yada. As she drones on, Hannah leans forward to ask Pacey what he's going to do for the talent competition: "Recite the alphabet? Jack a car?" Pacey addresses the contestants sitting near him: "You know, ladies, I say we vote Hannah Miss Congeniality -- what do you say?" She calls him a fool, and sits one row further back. Hannah, we all know you want him. Spare us the non-drama.
Episode Report CardWing Chun: D | 647 USERS: C+
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