My notes here read: "HUGE SIDEBAR ABOUT 'ADVERSITY' AND LACK THEREOF." Seriously, did I miss an episode? Maybe the one where Dawson was an orphan on the street of Calcutta, begging for pennies and batting flies away from his eyes? Or the one where he lived in the projects with an absentee father and a crack-whore mother, and he had to sell scrap iron for bread to feed his seven brothers and sisters, two of whom are blind? Or the one where, you know, anything remotely beyond run-of-the-mill-unfortunate happened to him? Yeah, his parents separated. Then they got back together. And, yeah, Mr. Brooks -- who he barely knew, really, and to whom he wasn't even related -- died. And left him bags of money. Where's the "adversity" in that? Dawson is an affluent white male. His parents love him, and each other. He has, against all odds, good friends. He's healthy as an ox. He's never even had to take the bus to school! For the love of God, what adversity is the Flash talking about? That's not a rhetorical question. What adversity? Holy hell.

"You did it, Dawson," the Flash continues. "You did it. And now here you are. Your whole life ahead of you, and you're thinking about chucking it all away. What, are you crazy?" Dawson rolls his eyes, hugely. "Maybe a little," he brats. The Flash informs Dawson that he's not choosing his own path; he's "following Joey down hers." Dawson huffs. "I know how much she means to you," the Flash says. "But do you really think it's wise to make major life decisions based on someone else?" Dawson rolls his eyes yet again, as the Flash reminds him that his decisions have "real consequences." Dawson hauls himself out of his corner and sighs. "Honestly, Dad! Do you think I don't know that?" he asks. "I know that this is the most important decision of my life!" The Flash ponderously advises Dawson to "make the right decision," but Dawson doesn't think it's that simple. "It really is," the Flash says. Dawson gulps and looks away. "Dawson, I have lived twice as long as you and I'm just trying to give you the benefit of my experience," the Flash explains. Dawson shouts that he can't "live the life [the Flash] chooses for him." He has to live his own. "Your own?" the Flash asks. "Yes," Dawson says. And then the Flash gets all up in Dawson's face, like he's going to toss him on the bed and kiss the breath out of him. Instead, he hands him a plane ticket. "Here's the chance to have the life you've wanted since you were a little boy. I booked you on the three-thirty tomorrow," he says. Dawson makes a piteous Parents Just Don't Understand face and flares his nostrils. They are standing so close to each other! Close enough that the Flash could lick the Beek's face if the notion so grabbed him. "Seize this opportunity, Dawson! Seize it!" the Flash hisses. "Then kiss me! Kiss me now!" Okay, not that last part. "It'll be gone in a moment," the Flash says, trembling with passion. "And that's life." He walks out of the room while Dawson pouts and stares at the floor. Wow, the Flash is so intelligent about life, and the meaning of our existence in this cold, cruel world. It's so nice to know that he has year upon year of life ahead of him, the better to reflect upon all the lessons he's learned.