Dawson's Creek
Dawson's Creek

Episode Report Card
Jessica: C | 481 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Capeside Revisited

CapeSnide. Dawson packs a bag in his room, tossing sweaters angrily into his bag. Finally, he zips it up, looks around one last time, huffs, and stalks out and down the stairs. In the living room, Gale holds Lily and makes some fussy Concerned Mother noises. Dawson bids his sister farewell, and turns to face the Flash. He gives the Flash the ticket to Los Angeles, and tells him to shove it. Actually, he says that he hopes the Flash can get a refund. "Dad, I know you think I'm making a mistake," he starts. "But if I am, it's a mistake I have to make for myself. And I know when you think about this, you're going to realize that I'm only trying to be the kind of person you taught me to be." The Violins Of Dawson's Doomed Familial Structure begin as the Flash tells Dawson that he's making a huge mistake, and the Flash is disappointed in him. Then he grabs Dawson's neck, and stares into Dawson's eyes. "Never, ever, for a single second, forget that I love you. That I will always be here for you," he says. They embrace. The Flash walks outside. Dawson looks over at his mother. "He'll be fine," Gale lies, and tells her son to call his father. Dawson nods, and walks out of the house, where a taxi is waiting for him. The Flash stands on the lawn, enjoying one of his last moments on this green earth, and watches Dawson drive off to ruin his young life.

Boston Bay College Of Contrivance. Jen and Charlie climb through an open window and into a darkened building. Charlie declares this "a Boston Bay tradition." Jen furrows her brows. "What? Breaking into Boston Bay Health Center and stealing condoms is tradition?" she asks. Charlie tells her they aren't stealing; the condoms are free. He points to a sign above a glass bowl full of condoms. "'Gift of the Class of 1990,'" he reads. "'Here's hoping you get laid.'" Jen looks perplexed and asks him if he really thinks the sign says that. Charlie assures her that he's just paraphrasing. Jen slowly realizes that he can't read the sign. "Who can read that from here?" Charlie asks. "It's like China from here." Jen rolls her eyes. "'Gift of the Class of 1990, in anticipation of a world without AIDS,'" she reads easily. I really hope this is the beginning of an Afterschool Special-esque story arc about the functional illiterate, Why Charlie Can't Read. Perhaps this could even kick off a series of storylines lifted from educational television movies for teens of the late seventies and early eighties, like Joey, Portrait of a Teenage Hooker, or Red Asphalt, Starring the Flash. Actually, it just turns out that Charlie is nearsighted, and thinks he looks like a total dork in his glasses. "You are a total dork," Jen tells him, smiling. They do it on the floor. Newsflash: guys in glasses are way hotter than guys who act like they can't read.

Dawson's Creek

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