Joey walks past Liberty Hell's open kitchen en route to the bathroom. And, why, who's that in the kitchen, chopping stuff? Could it be -- Pacey? What an amazing coincidence! Of all the restaurants in all the world, she had to walk into his. He doesn't see her staring at him, looking blank.
Apres bathroom break, Joey drags Jen off to a bench somewhere in the middle of the restaurant -- abandoning poor Audrey with the bill, I guess -- and gives her the big news. Jen, obviously, isn't particularly surprised, telling the flabbergasted Joey that Pacey's been in Boston "about three and a half weeks." Joey's shocked that Jen knew Pacey was in town. Jen hastens to point out that she had no idea that Pacey was the new prep cook at Liberty Hell, or she never would have suggested they eat there. "I should go," Joey says, looking like she'd rather chew off her left arm and roast it over a bare light bulb than finish her meal at the restaurant. Jen puts her hand on Joey's arm and asks her if she wants to see Pacey; Joey sputters that of course she does, but he "obviously" doesn't want to see her, or he wouldn't have made such a big deal about swearing Jen to secrecy. She trudges off, as Jen sits awkwardly on the bench and looks thoughtful.
Grams's Brand Spanking New Palace For Wayward Girls, Gay Guys Played By Exceedingly Straight Actors And, We Hope Temporarily, Dawson. The Big Giant Head slouches into the living room, and thanks Grams for letting him crash on her sofa. Color me surprised that that big old house doesn't have a posh guest room with a little white painted writing table where Dawson can sit late at night, after Grams and Jen and Jack have gone to bed, and stare out over the Charles River and write poems about his anguish until dawn. Grams starts making up the couch, and tells him that "having an expatriate sleeping on the sofa makes it feel like Paris in the twenties around here." Dawson just sighs. Grams hands him a baggie of Rice Krispies Treats for his bus ride back to Capeside, and tells him that staying in Boston is an awfully big decision. Dawson admits that he's very nervous about telling his parents. "The truth will set you free," Grams tells him. "The truth will tick them off," Dawson tells her. "If Moses can face Pharaoh," Grams says, handing him a pillow, "you can face your parents." Dawson makes a face like he's not so sure about that.
The Prettiest, Cleanest, Fanciest Frat In The Whole Wide World. There's a fairly low-key par-tay in progress; Jack and The Dumb Guy With A Dream are playing a football-related video game on the sofa. Jack makes some kind of nifty play in the video, and DGWAD grabs him by the shoulders and, in the process of giving him as a noogie, shoves Jack's head right into his crotch. And there's the frat system I know and love. Well, maybe "love" is too strong a word. The boys put down their controllers and stand up, at which point DGWAD is finally given a name: "Blossom." There are so many jokes flooding into my brain right now that I can't pick just one. Blossom introduces Jack to an African-American guy whose name, I think, is Bull. It's probably really Bill, but I prefer Bull, so there you go. Bull somehow knows all about all the classes Jack is taking, and which ones are the hardest, and then tells Jack to call him. "We'll talk about the subject of your pop quiz next week," he says, smiling and giving Jack his card. College kids have cards now? Wonders will never cease. Blossom turns away from Jack for a moment, takes a list out of his pocket, and checks off "introduce Jack to the wonders of the frat system of 'studying' (cheating, years of pilfered tests and quizzes, a veritable library of papers and essays)." Hey, I'm sorry, but that was the scuttlebutt when I was in school.
Next, Blossom introduces Jack to some guy in a sweater vest named Pete. Pete is at BBC on a full golf scholarship. Pete and Jack chat about golf for a bit, and agree to hit the links Sunday morning for eighteen holes. Jack grins, thrilled to have found someone to golf with, and turns to Blossom, who hands him a plate of salami and a beer. "How do you know so much about me?" Jack asks, the tips of his mullet glistening in the light. "Everyone knows you like the salami, Jack," Blossom says. Not really. Also: I'm very sorry about that juvenile salami-as-penis joke I just used. Actually, Blossom spouts some crap about brotherhood being for life or something like that. I zone out, because I'm stunned by how clean and well decorated the frat house is. Jack opens his mouth, and starts to tell Blossom that he's gay, but Blossom is distracted by some yelling in the background. "Excuse me, I think a pledge just accepted his bid. I've got a new brother," he tells Jack, and goes to join the crowd of clean-cut, screaming guys. As they hoist the aforesaid New Brother on their shoulders, Blossom looks over at Jack and gives him the Frat Boy Head Nod. You know, the way frat guys greet each other on campus without saying anything, that Head Nod that's not so much a nod as it is a jerking, upward motion of the chin? Jack smiles back at him. This is too good to be true, right? I'm not the only one who thinks this is the weirdest frat house ever, right? I mean, it's like Frat Boys of the Corn, or something.