Dawson's Creek
Capeside Revisited

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Capeside Revisited

Over at the frat house, Jack's face-down on a sofa, passed out. Ah, if I had a nickel -- I mean, never mind. "Know what this is?" Blossom asks, holding something under Jack's nose. Again, if I had a nickel for the number of times a frat boy held -- damn, I did it again. Jack wakes up, groggy. "I'm not even sure where I am," he mumbles. Turns out he's in "the chapter room," because "Sigmas don't let you drink and drive. [They] plan on keeping [their] house." Also in the room are Pete and Bull, both looking like cats that eat canaries. The item in Blossom's hand is, contrary to the dirty jokes I keep narrowly avoiding, a bid. Blossom starts up with some more crap about Sigma being in Jack's future and how they're brothers and blah blah blah Stepford Frat Boys blah. Jack looks at the bid and is stunned, "What happens if I accept?" he asks. He basically becomes a full-fledged member immediately, with no pledge period or hazing, according to Blossom. Everyone looks at Jack, who admits that he doesn't know what to think about this turn of events. "There comes a point in every man's life when he has to ask himself that fundamental question; am I in, or am I out?" Blossom says. Jack's like, you have no idea, and he stammers a bit, but finally tells the boys that he's gay. They look at each other and chuckle. See, they knew that. "Most people are surprised," Jack says. "Most people aren't Sigma people, Jack. You're Sigma people. You're one of us," Blossom intones. This is creepy. Jack wonders if there are other gay men in the fraternity. He'd be the first, he learns. Jack hesitatingly points out that "most fraternities are not known for being tolerant toward alternative lifestyles." Blossom nods and tells him that Sigma "has a reputation for being the buffest, party-hardiest house on campus," and that said reputation is not "entirely unfounded." Jack's doing the "awwwwww, yeah" head bob throughout this speech, which seems out of place here, but whatever. Then Blossom tells Jack that "the dean" wants Sigma to "diversify." You know, get out of the tech sector, maybe buy into utilities. "Yes, Jack, we know you're gay. We want you in this house because you're gay," Blossom says. Jack looks at the bid thoughtfully.

Charlie and Jen are lolling naked in bed. Well, she's wearing a shirt. So only Charlie is naked. But they are in bed. Jen tries awkwardly to make conversation: "What's your favorite color?" she asks. Charlie groans. "I don't know, the color of your eyes," he offers. Jen makes a face and claps a hand over his eyes. She asks him to elaborate. Charlie hems and haws and acts shocked that she thinks he's been "sleeping with [her] for a week," without knowing the color of her eyes. "Brown," he says. "With flecks of green," Jen points out. Charlie sighs. "It's not entirely my fault that we happen to have a completely normal, healthy sex life," he says. I have the feeling that Charlie thinks he and Jen are just, ah -- what was the euphemism we used to use, back in the day when I wasn't an old, old woman? "Having a good time." He thinks they're just "having a good time," whereas Jen is under the impression that their relationship is made of more serious stuff. She asks him if he's implying that it's all her fault? Charlie explains that neither of them has much self-control. Jen wonders aloud if they could go an entire day without having sex. "A day? Are you insane, woman?" Charlie asks. He doesn't think they could make it twelve hours. So, you know where this is going, right? Yeah, they decide to try to go twelve hours without sex. I guess it's hard, when you have an overwhelming physical attraction for someone. Because that's the word on the street. That they have an overwhelming physical…oh, never mind.

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Dawson's Creek

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