We open with Joey sitting cross-legged on Dawson's bed, watching The Movie. She wipes away a tear as the credits roll. Oh, dear God. I hope she was crying because she has no idea how to tell him that his movie bites. Dawson bounds into the room just in time to see Joey brush a drop of glycerin off her cheek. "Is it over?" he asks. She nods. "All two hours and forty minutes of it." Dawson grimaces and takes a seat next to her, explaining that it's "the director's cut" and it's "way too long." He takes a closer look at her face. "Are you crying?" he asks. She insists that she's not. "I think you were!" Dawson crows. "There may have been a tear shed or something, all right? I don't remember," Joey admits. "That's a good thing, right?" Dawson asks. "Not unless I was bored to tears," Joey says, grinning. Wow, Katie Holmes's teeth are enormously yellow. Katie? It's called cosmetic dentistry. Look into it. "It's good. It's really good," she finally tells him. In fact, she says, she can see something "actually happening with this." And that's why she was crying, see. "It's a pretty amazing thing to be there when your best friend becomes exactly what he's dreamed about his entire life," she gushes. Dude, he just finished a student film. It's not like Steven Spielberg is presenting him with a Lifetime Achievement award and then adopting him as his son, or anything. Dawson smiles, and Joey tells him that she was really surprised by Charlie's performance. "He was shockingly good," she says. Dawson agrees, saying that it drove him crazy, but Charlie actually "has something." Joey shrugs. "He's not that bad a guy, Dawson," she says. Dawson raises his brows. "I know he was kind of a jerk to Jen, but I think that was out of fear more than anything else," Joey insists. Dawson just looks skeptical.

He's about to say something (probably, "Joey, are you smoking crack?") when Pander skips into the attic. "Holy smokes, Leery!" Pander yelps, seeing Joey sitting on the bed. "You work fast. Broke up with Betty and you've already got Veronica in your bed." Joey rolls her eyes, but Pander asks her about the flick before she can set him straight about the circumstances surrounding her presence on Dawson's bed. She thought it was excellent, she says. "Was there ever any doubt?" Pander asks rhetorically. He thinks the movie is ready to screen. Dawson sputters that they still have a lot of work to do before they're at the point where they can show it to other people. "Then you better get to work, chief, because tomorrow is approaching awfully fast," Pander chirps. "What?" Dawson says. Pander scrunches all his features into the middle of his face. "Ooh, I forgot to tell you, didn't I? Silly me. We're screening the movie tomorrow at school for cast, crew and assorted highbrow intellectuals." Dawson's all, "No, we're not." And Pander's all, "Yes, we are." He skips toward the stairs, explaining that Dawson has no say in this particular manner. "The train has left the station!" he sings as he leaves. Dawson shoots an exasperated look at Joey and gives chase. Once she's alone, Joey rewinds the film and freeze-frames Charlie's face. She sighs dreamily. I used to do that to Back to the Future because I had a giant crush on Michael J. Fox. Of course, I was ten years old at the time. Okay, by the time we had a tape of it, I was like twelve, but whatever. I'm convinced, by the way, that I'm bad luck. Every celebrity boy on whom I ever had a major crush has had a horrible disaster befall him. River Phoenix: Dead. Michael J. Fox: Parkinson's. Tom Cruise: Scientology. Ron Howard better watch his back. (What? I was in second grade. Richie Cunningham, people, come on! No, come on. Oh, shut up. I know about you and Chachi.)