Cut to the Sanctum, where the last chords of E.T. swell and Joey wipes her eyes. Dawson: "I caught that." Joey, busted, grumps, "Sue me." It's her favorite movie, apparently, and then the writers name-check the pilot again by having Joey ask if it won the Oscar, and Dawson's all, "It's Gandhi, for the thousandth time." Yeah, we get it. They've known each other forever. No, really, we get it. There's no need to -- no, WE GET IT. Okay? Hello? Dawson swings an overstuffed suitcase onto the bed, and Joey tells him that he's "worse than a girl," and Dawson grumps, "Thaaaat's good -- emasculate me. It's only the last time you're ever gonna see me. Well, for Christmas, I suppose." I would make a joke about the emasculation here, but I've got so many to choose from that I can't pick just one, so y'all can just take the phrase "one neutered chipmunk, coming right up" and Mad-Lib it from there. Non-humorous "joking" about bimbos and beer bongs follows. Joey wishes they could "just fast-forward four years and see how it all ends up." Dawson already knows; Worthington will turn Joey into a "pedigreed professional," while he'll "be working the graveyard shift over at Kinko's -- come by and say hi." Heh. You know, the writers should have skipped all the quiet-hero/wunderkind bullshit and just written Dawson as a dork from the get-go; it would have made the character much more appealing. Now, it just comes off as fake, because Dawson has acted so appallingly self-satisfied and assy in the past.
Anyway, they both flop back on the bed, and Joey says in a worried tone that she knows they "always joke about this," but she feels like she's never going to see him again. "That's crazy talk, Jo," Dawson says with a hint of impatience, and Joey says she knows, and she'll see him at the holidays, but he'll "be different." "I will?" He'll have a tan, for one thing, and he'll also have an "incredibly pretty" girlfriend whom Joey will hate on sight, and "deep down" she'll know that the girlfriend is as great as Dawson says, just because he likes her. Oh, yuck. Shut up, Joey. Dawson can see that she's given it some thought, and she smirks that he can't keep it a secret forever. Keep what a secret? "How incredible you are." Oh. My. God. Shut. Up. Joey. They gaze at each other for a moment, but Joey wimps out and sits up, and they start playing Answer Fast. Dawson's favorite movie is Jaws. Joey's favorite song is "Daydream Believer." Sars's favorite phrase is "shut up, Joey." Dawson's most embarrassing moment is getting caught making out with Eve; Joey snorts that that "did wonders for [his] street cred." No, it most certainly did not, and shut UP, Joey! Dawson turns it back around on her, and she says it's when she offered herself to him and he turned her down flat. Dawson gets the save by asking if they can introduce "an all-time biggest regret category," because that's his. Heh. Joey's "would be lying to [Dawson] about sleeping with Pacey." Shut up, Joey. Shut up now. Shut up a lot. Dawson starts spluttering with laughter, and Joey's all, "Not funny, asshole," but Dawson hitches forward to sit next to her and starts going on about how he's the only one who hasn't done the do, and he "didn't plan on graduating a virgin -- what -- what happened?" Well, gee -- you consistently look, and act, like a titanic anus. Does that answer your question, Big Head Tard? Joey tries to jolly him out of it, and there's more ooky talk about "the last American virgin" which I refuse to transcribe because it's irrelevant and nauseating. Awkward pause. Dawson asks about Joey's all-time most life-altering moment. She does not choose the death of her mother, or either of her father's imprisonments, or having sex, or getting into college, or any other logical thing. No, she does not. She chooses kissing Dawson. OF COURSE. Because "it changed everything." Dawson smiles, remembering, as Joey muses, "It's a pretty powerful thing when you get your biggest wish in one moment." Especially when that wish is totally inexplicable, and sucky.