The gang heads for the cinema. Joey and Jen walk ahead, and we get to eavesdrop on Jack and Dawson talking about LA and how it's "a galaxy far far away" (Dear "writers": You've now used that line about a dozen times, so quit it.) and Dawson's nervous but excited and blah. Jack jokingly suggests that Dawson stick around and paint houses with him again this summer -- hey, continuity! -- but Dawson suggests that he "do it with Joey" (no comment), because she'd gladly "escape from the clutches of Cruella DeValentine." Oh, all right -- heh. Jack dons a t-shirt with "SOULMATE FLUFFER" on the front and tells Dawson that Joey's really going to miss him. Dawson makes with the false modesty, saying that Joey has "plenty on her mind" what with "infiltrating the Ivy Leagues [sic]" and the "devastating break-up" and so on. Jack keeps fluffing, calling the goodbye between Dawson and Joey "a fairly colossal event." Again, he's not storming the beach at Normandy, folks, so could we dial the drama back just a few notches? Dawson wants to remain in denial; Jack's wrist starts to ache as he tells Dawson to "acknowledge the hugeness of this event," or he'll "wake up in a cold sweat" in his USC dorm room and have to add it to his "list of lifelong regrets," like, doesn't Jack have a boyfriend he can jerk off instead of having to do it to Dawson's ego? Dawson tells Jack not to sit next to him at the movies: "You're bummin' me out." Jack won't let up, though, saying he knows Dawson's thought about "spending the entire summer with" Joey and oh my god Jack SHUT UP! Do you have money riding on this or something? Go mack on your boy Tobey and LEAVE IT ALONE! Dawson looks ill and admits that of course he's thought about it -- so much so that he's annoyed now because he can't stop thinking about it. But he's decided to go ahead and leave, y'all, so stop encouraging him to get tangled up with Joey, who'd have serious rebound shit going on anyway, right before they leave for separate schools! Because they suck together! And they suck separately! And they have no chemistry, except occasionally as friends! And if Joey would go for Dawson so soon after getting dumped by Pacey, he shouldn't want her anyway, because he'd just turn into a placeholder! Because Joey can't not have a boyfriend! Because she sucks! And so does this storyline! And it has for three years! So drop the chalupa! Jee! Sus! Keeeerist! Jack hangs his head all "sorry, man" as Dawson starts in with the "I fell in love with Gretchen -- see, all ye doubters, how her love hath routed the demon Joey from my soul" routine, but his giant face falls a few seconds later and betrays him as he wonders, "So why can't I stop thinking about [Joey]?" Maybe because the "writers" can't shift themselves writing a decent subplot for Jack, so he has to remind you about your soulmate every two seconds? Just a theory.
Episode Report CardSars: B | 420 USERS: B-
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