Dawson's Creek
Coda

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That's what friends aren't for

I want to see A.I., but only because I have a big old crush on Sam Robards and I can't seem to shake it. I know it's wrong. Help me.

Oh, brother. Here we go. Dawson is staring at his still-empty suitcase. In the background, an ovary is singing "Daydream Believer." Shut up, ovary. Dawson tries to pack, but can't focus, so he finally rolls his eyes at himself and grabs his coat. As he comes out the front door and down the lawn, he finds Joey at the foot of the hill. He asks what she's doing there, and she yammers on about having to help him pack or else he'd go to LA with just the clothes he has on, and then he'd start to smell. "My hygiene thanks you for your concern," Dawson smirks, and Joey asks where he's headed; he admits, "The Potter B&B." Joey smiles, "What was your excuse gonna be?" "I was gonna work the whole 'I haven't said goodbye to Bessie or Bodie yet' angle." Hee! Joey speaks for me, grinning, "Ah. Not bad." Dawson invites her up to the Sanctum.

Cut to the Sanctum, where the last chords of E.T. swell and Joey wipes her eyes. Dawson: "I caught that." Joey, busted, grumps, "Sue me." It's her favorite movie, apparently, and then the writers name-check the pilot again by having Joey ask if it won the Oscar, and Dawson's all, "It's Gandhi, for the thousandth time." Yeah, we get it. They've known each other forever. No, really, we get it. There's no need to -- no, WE GET IT. Okay? Hello? Dawson swings an overstuffed suitcase onto the bed, and Joey tells him that he's "worse than a girl," and Dawson grumps, "Thaaaat's good -- emasculate me. It's only the last time you're ever gonna see me. Well, for Christmas, I suppose." I would make a joke about the emasculation here, but I've got so many to choose from that I can't pick just one, so y'all can just take the phrase "one neutered chipmunk, coming right up" and Mad-Lib it from there. Non-humorous "joking" about bimbos and beer bongs follows. Joey wishes they could "just fast-forward four years and see how it all ends up." Dawson already knows; Worthington will turn Joey into a "pedigreed professional," while he'll "be working the graveyard shift over at Kinko's -- come by and say hi." Heh. You know, the writers should have skipped all the quiet-hero/wunderkind bullshit and just written Dawson as a dork from the get-go; it would have made the character much more appealing. Now, it just comes off as fake, because Dawson has acted so appallingly self-satisfied and assy in the past.

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Dawson's Creek

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