Over at the PB&B, Joey protests, "I can't believe you!" Bessie "Mama Mia" Potter says that she's Joey's sister, and thus has a right to know. Joey shakes her head; Bessie says that she's Joey's sister whom Joey ditched last June: "I'm entitled to know." Joey dodges by telling Bessie to open her gift. "A plant," Bessie says unenthusiastically. Joey says that it's a Carolina jasmine: "At night, if the wind hit right, we could smell them two miles out on the water." Yeah, I'll bet you could. Bessie tries again to ask if she and Pacey had sex, but Joey tells her to "quit it," she hasn't even unpacked yet, and she grabs her satchel and heads to her room, which -- as we find out when Joey barges in on a guy in his underwear -- Bessie rented out "until Tuesday" in Joey's absence. Joey's face clouds, but Bessie distracts her by proudly showing off the PB& B accounting ledger, which has a bottom line of seventeen grand in profits. Joey smiles in disbelief, and Bessie admits that she "wanted it to be a surprise," and they hug. Aw. Go, Bessie.
Jen comes back from the snack bar to find Andie chatting up Fab and Danny. Andie introduces them, tells Jen they're French, and starts rambling on all Tourette's because it's her understanding that Fab and Danny barely speak English. Fab says he'd like a tour of Capeside. Andie invites Jen along, but Jen wisely takes a Pasadena. Andie keeps blithering. Sadly, the scene ends before the Brenda-Walsh-and-"Reek"-esque wacky hijinks have a chance to split my sides.
Doug "Neat? Check. Freak? Check" Witter sarcastically admires the "Florida snowman" snowglobe Pacey brought him, which consists of a top hat and a teeny carrot floating around. Hee -- I love those. Pacey flops down on the couch and asks, "How's my favorite couch been -- you been keepin' it warm for me?" Doug says that it's funny Pacey should mention that. Pacey groans that he hopes Doug isn't kicking him out. Then, to the surprise of exactly one viewer, Pacey intimates that Doug has moved a boyfriend into his apartment. Dear writers: It's not funny. It's never been funny. It plays on stupid stereotypes, it's becoming offensive, and if you did make Doug gay, you'd probably kick him off the police force and give him a job at Matt Queen Of Melrose's World Of Chaste Hugs And Hysteria-Tinged AIDS Storylines, so for the last time -- drop it. Signed, a viewer pinned under a large block of granite. Jesus. More non-amusing repartee about the gender of Doug's new roommate, it's "purely platonic," blah bling blah, enter Gretchen, a.k.a. "the new roommate," she fires off a "nice hair, loser" line at Pacey, and they hug.