Dawson's Creek

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now!

Shouts out to Shanda, Sars, owen, bstewart, Quinn, Pacey Lover, I Like Pacey, Heather K., and those bastards at Rogers Cable.

We did get the WB so I was able to watch the "this week on Dawson's Creek" scenes, which I have to add is a practice not seen in television since the glory days of Knight Rider or MacGyver, and then for good measure I also get scenes from Charmed, a.k.a. The Craft minus Neve Campbell, a.k.a. That Dumb-ass Sandra Bullock movie: The TV Series which I didn't realize until today, since I'd never watched it, also stars Alyssa Milano and the eldest daughter from Picket Fences who probably doesn't need to get her Emmy dress out of storage anytime soon. And now: The WB Wednesday.

Oh yeah, I forgot about the disclaimer and "previously on Dawson's Creek" scenes, but then, just in case last week's powerboat-through-the-reeds scene was too subtle in its symbolism for some of the "younger viewers" who may be watching this without their parents' or guardians' knowledge, we open on a TV showing the Popeil sausage maker, until the camera pans over to Dawson's bed where he and Joey are going at it hotter and heavier and louder, and for a longer duration, than I personally care to see and hear. A shaft (geddit?) of light falls on our young lovers, and then we get the TV again as the Flash's unusually well-muscled and veiny arm reaches across the screen to turn it off, which rouses Dawson enough to glance up at "Mom and Dad!" who are all sleepy and disapproving as Dawson continues to stammer at them, "Hey, um, you remember Joey right?" and then Mr. and Mrs. Flash look at each other and then Dawson and Joey chuckle sheepishly as the opening credits begin.

So then we're at school early in the morning, where a whole bunch of extras who should be getting back to their day jobs are passing some kind of written driver's test apparently administered by a police officer, and while I took driver's ed at my school, and did have to take written tests based on material we covered in our classes, I still had to take the tests to get my learner's permit at the Ministry of Transportation (Canadian DMV equivalent), and of course getting my driver's license was based on an actual road test, but whatever. So Pacey and his re-dyed hedgehog hair "missed by one point" which the officer goes on to add is "too bad. We really need another juvenile delinquent chowderhead on the road" and although I don't dispute the veracity of her assessment, I somehow think that she might refrain from calling the sheriff's son a "chowderhead" to his face, but whatever. To this, the chowderhead in question responds, "Well, I shouldn't have studied. See what happens when you study?" Then he gets up muttering something I couldn't make out about "vehicular freedom," like maybe the sound guy responsible for this scene could borrow one of the forty mics affixed to Dawson's and Joey's mouths in the opening scene and plant one on Pacey, huh?

Anyway, Pacey puts on his most "winning" smile like pouring on the charm is going to alter the behaviour of an officer of the law when cleavage is not likely to come into play, and says to the officer, "Listen, Miss, what do you think it's going to take to change just one little answer on this test? Let's say, free videos for a year?" To which the officer replies, "You aren't trying to bribe me, are you, Mr. Witter?" (and not trying very hard, I might add). And he wheedles some more with, "Aw, come on, officer, toss me a break! It's my birthday!" and she smiles and says, "Oh, it is, really? Well, then you should have said something." And Pacey beams expectantly until she bursts his little bubble with, "Happy birthday" and walks away while his face falls. Aw. For some reason there appeared to be flashbulbs or something going on throughout that scene. I don't get that.

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Dawson's Creek




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