Dawson's Creek
Cruel Intentions 2

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Vile Things
Inside, Kathryn is approached by another teacher. He hands her a note, which she looks at and hands back, saying, "But I'm excused from gym." The teacher says that she is, but not from ballet. Kathryn goes into seductive mode, but the teacher is having none of that. Gee, I wonder if anyone will be able to spot the punchline approaching. Kathryn leaves, and a male student wanders by. The teacher greets him with an enthusiastic "Mister Erwick," and then purrs at him. See, it's funny because...no, I guess it isn't, actually. My mistake. Kathryn meets with Assistant Headmaster Mueller. More seductive threats. She wants out of ballet. Mueller whines about how the headmaster is suspicious and blah blah blah pedophiliacakes. Kathryn finally says that she'll go to ballet and gym. "The excuse slips were just a test. The day will come when I'll need you for a favor. And you'll do it without question. Capisce?" Mueller grovels obediently and claims that he worships his blackmailer. Kathryn says that "worship works best on your knees," and do you mind if I just fast-forward the tape for a minute, okay? Suddenly it's nighttime. Kathryn angrily knocks at the door of her home. No one's letting her in, because the servants are boozing it up over a poker game with Subassdunne. There's a "joke" based on the fact that the maid doesn't know what gefilte fish is. Subassdunne wins the hand, and then starts whining about how all of his money isn't helping him because Danielle resents his wealth. Er, no, I think she resented your attempt to assault her. The butler suggests that Subassdunne is acting as if he can buy Danielle. Subassdunne is astonished by this insight. The butler goes on to say that "women are more interested in the soul of a man than in his trappings." I think Subassdunne's in trouble if that's true. Plus, judging by the large number of women who seem very interested in a guy with a nice jacket and no soul at all, it's possible the butler is mistaken. Kathryn enters and starts shrieking about how no one answered the door, and she had to take a cab home because the limo didn't pick her up. Subassdunne defends the staff by explaining that he ordered them to play cards with him, and tells Kathryn that she treats the servants like dirt. He has a right to moral superiority here, because ordering them to spend their free time with him is so much better than expecting them to simply do their jobs. Kathryn storms off, and Subassdunne follows.

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Dawson's Creek




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