Joey adds that he's turned into the sea creature from his own movie. Dawson doesn't seem to hear this and describes Jen as both a mystery to him and someone he feels like he's known his whole life, and then he says, "It's like the way I feel about you. I mean, she challenges me the way you do. She could be you. Except -- she's Jen," and if you listen carefully, you can hear a sickening "splat" as Dawson puts his foot dead in it. Joey gives him a textbook-definition "dull resentment" stare and proceeds to tee him high and let him fly: "Well, let me just remind you how your little allegorical horror movie-slash- story ends. The creature doesn't get the girl. He dies a violent, bloody, horrible death. Rest in peace, Dawson." She gets up. Dawson asks, "Where're you going?" Joey: "I'm already dead, remember?" Go, Joey.

Barely registering her departure, Dawson obsesses in Jen's general direction as Cliff leads her out onto the floor, and then he gets up and mutters, "It's time for a rewrite." Oh, brother. Dawson walks over to Cliff and Jen and cuts in. Jen asks him what he's doing, but she seems vaguely amused; Dawson then says he doesn't want to cut in, but rather he wants to "take over," and he thanks Cliff for "showing Jen such a great time," but he's got it from here. An incredulous Cliff wants to know what Dawson is talking about, and Dawson says very condescendingly to Cliff that he knows "it's confusing right now," but he's talking about himself and Jen, and that he and Jen have something going on, and Cliff and Jen greet this revelation by gaping like fish out of water as Dawson continues to rave on about his non-relationship with Jen, which Dawson winds up by asking Cliff "to manly [sic] step aside so that I might have a moment with the object of my desire." See, just when Dawson comes off a little bit sympathetically, the writers give him dialogue like this, and then I hate him again. Cliff asks a mortified Jen, "Who is this guy?" and Jen demands, "Dawson, what are you doing?" and Cliff tells Dawson, "You're gonna have to leave. Now. Okay? This is, this is too weird." Word. Dawson in turn tells Cliff that he needs to go. Cliff wants to know if Jen wants to "be with this guy," and then Cliff and Dawson go toe-to-toe, and right before punches get thrown, Jen announces that she'll make it easy for both of them by leaving herself. Dawson stares after her as Sars fervently wishes that Mitch remembers the "know when to shut up" element of the father-son speech next time.