I love that ad with the dog making the sandwich and then chucking it into the cat's dinner bowl when he finds the empty Miracle Whip jar. I've not consumed so much as a molecule of Miracle Whip in my life, but I'd consider it, just on the strength of that commercial.

Out on the street, Pacey, Dawson, and Joey walk home. Dawson characterizes the night as "the most horrific" of his life, and he punctuates this by running his hands through his hair. He asks Joey how she could "let" him "do that," and Joey grumbles that she knew it would wind up her fault, and then Dawson tries to blame the evening's failures on Pacey, "my non-existent friend," and Pacey hollers, "I don't see you taking any interest in my life, you self-righteous navel-gazing fuckwit, so why not try taking responsibility for your own off-putting personality, Breakfast Food Boy!" Oops, excuse me -- I yelled that, not Pacey; Pacey absently mutters, "I'm sorry, man -- I was otherwise engaged." Joey points out that she did, after all, come back and didn't desert him, but Dawson totally ignores this and asks Pacey about "this mystery woman you keep alluding to," and Pacey sighs and says, "Unfortunately, the mystery woman remains a mystery, even to me." Dawson theorizes that, "at this moment, Jen's lips are probably pressing against Cliff's," and Joey joins the rest of North America in beseeching Dawson, "Don't go there," and Pacey says, "This is my stop, kids. Mañana," and shakes Dawson's hand.

Cut (or rather "jolt," since the editor slams these two scenes together with no transition at all) to the Leery kitchen. Gail comes in with a doggie bag and asks Mitch if Dawson has come home yet; Mitch, working on his model, says he thinks Dawson "is busy kissing the girl next door for the first time tonight." Gail gives Mitch a shoulder massage and says, "Sounds romantic." Mitch asks Gail if she remembers their first kiss, and she says of course she does, and she reminisces about it, and long story short, she doesn't remember the same first kiss that Mitch recounted to Dawson earlier, and Mitch can't believe she doesn't remember it, and Gail says she doesn't think he remembers it, and she apologizes sultrily as Mitch keeps bitching about giving Dawson the wrong advice, and behind him, Gail whips out a tube of product-placed Chapstick, proving that she really does remember, back and forth, on and on. Gail sits on Mitch's lap and kisses him, and they stand up, still kissing, and they trade more cheesy lines about chapped lips, and they dance, and Mitch looks suffused with lust, and Gail looks regretful and nervous.