Anyhow, Dawson looks disgusted and says that "you can get arrested for that in some states." He watches Mitch work on his restaurant model for a moment before saying, "I have a question. It's kind of a girl-slash-relationship question," and he warns Mitch not to let it go to his head that he's asked for fatherly advice, adding, "Because I clearly don't condone yours and Mom's perverse sex life." As if anyone asked you, Dawson. Dawson then admits that his inexperience "is hindering my current female relations." Mitch manages not to slap Dawson upside the head, telling him instead to get to the point, and Dawson says tensely, "Mechanics of kissing." Mitch removes his glasses and asks how he can help, and they sit down, and Dawson props Joey's fake head on the table and says, "I'm interested in technique." Mitch explains, "Well, there is no 'technique,' Dawson -- you just put your lips together and go." Dawson: "But what makes a good kiss?" Mitch starts to relate a tale about the first time he kissed Gail, and Dawson breaks in with, "Now don't get too detailed," and Mitch stops short and stares at his son, probably wondering why neither he nor his wife ever got around to drowning Dawson in a boot.
Joey stomps across the lawn in shorts and a skimp-o-rama bikini top with a denim shirt over it, and she heads up the ladder. Meanwhile, Mitch tells his first-kiss-with-Gail story, in which Gail's lips got chapped in the sun and she asked Mitch to lend her some Chapstick, so he put some on his lips and kissed her, and at that moment a giant wheel of Brie falls out of the sky and crushes both of the Leery men. Well, not really, but it should have. Upstairs, Joey climbs in the window and wanders past the telescope to the head of the stairs, where she hears Mitch talking about the chemistry that already existed between him and Gail, and the kiss cementing those feelings, and the romantic setting, and Dawson says patronizingly, "See, and here I thought you were all about sex." Mitch says, "Well, we still jumped each other," and Dawson groans as Mitch continues, "But you gotta have romance." Joey watches through the banister as Dawson asks, "But the kiss itself -- what did you do?" Mitch picks up Joey's fake head and hands it to Dawson, saying, "Give it a try." Dawson snorts and refuses, but Mitch insists, "You asked for [my advice]," and Joey smirks as Dawson takes Joey's fake head in his hands, and Mitch advises Dawson to moisten his lips, and now I guess I know whom to blame for all the slobbery kisses I've had to endure in my lifetime -- people's dads gave them well-meaning but sucky kissing clinics. Anyhow. Dawson giggles all embarrassedly and says he feels ridiculous, and Mitch tweaks his lower lip and tells Dawson to relax and "let it have a mind of its own -- you want it to dance with hers," and I suspect he doesn't mean Dawson's lip, but whatever, Mitch says, "Go on," and Dawson picks up Joey's fake head as Joey's real head watches intently from the banister, and Mitch says, "Close your eyes," and Dawson and Joey both close their eyes, and Dawson kisses Joey's fake head while Joey presumably fantasizes about kissing Dawson, and Dawson and Joey both open their eyes again, and Mitch tells Dawson, "That was good," and Dawson asks, "Yeah?" and Mitch says, "Yeah," and Dawson grins all skeevily and says, "Cool," and that scene tried for "endearing" but took a wrong turn at "creepy," and of all the things my stomach lining can take, Real-Doll overtones on Dawson's Creek don't make the list. Anyhow, Dawson picks up Joey's fake head, tells his father to "forget this ever happened," and leaves.