Dawson's Creek

Episode Report Card
Sars: C | 2 USERS: A+

Meanwhile, in a classroom down the hall, police officers lead Mary Kay LeTourneau away in -- oh, my mistake, TaMAHra asks the class about Catherine's motivations in driving Heathcliff away. Nellie offers a vacuous comment about Catherine's "dysfunctional way" of telling Heathcliff she loved him; a few seats away, Pacey rolls his eyes. TaMAHra calls Nellie's answer "the obvious interpretation," but goes on to say that she thinks "it goes deeper than that." She says that, "for some reason," people think of Wuthering Heights as "some great love story," when in fact Catherine and Heathcliff don't belong together, because Catherine "was essentially a mess" and Heathcliff "had a lot to learn about life," and TaMAHra goes on and on in this vein to Pacey's evident displeasure as his classmates exchange weirded-out looks. TaMAHra winds up by saying, "It never should have happened. Brontë should have saved her ink," and Pacey glowers at her, and Nellie sits with her mouth open in shock. Then the bell rings.

In film class, Mr. Gold says the students will "have to move fast" if they want to enter the film festival. As Dawson fixes Mr. Gold with a burning and obsessive gaze, Cliff "The Once And Future Noel" Elliott says they've finished their script and "boarded" the movie (as if a jockstrap like Cliff would ever use the term "boarded"), and they did a lot of work over the summer; behind him, Nellie twirls her hair and simpers in Cliff's direction. Mr. Gold inquires about their "third-act problems," at which point Dawson violates the terms of his attendance by raising his hand Epstein-style, and Mr. Gold actually calls on him, and Dawson asks, "Would that be the Boston Film Festival?" Mr. Gold explains that the BFF has a junior video category, but of course Dawson already knows that, and he droops visibly at the thought of competition from Cliff. Cliff talks about the third act, something about his character breaking his arm in three places but refusing to tell the coach because he won't get to play at Homecoming if he says anything; Mr. Gold looks doubtful, and Dawson rolls his eyes and sneers in disbelief as Cliff says, in the same condescending tone Dawson usually uses, "Remember, we want the audience asking, 'Can he do it? Will the team...win the big game?'" Cliff continues, in a really intense tone, "Remember, this is autobiographical, so if anybody has any questions, I was there, I lived it. Come talk to me, all right?" Dawson keeps mugging. Um, Dawson? Two words: Varsity. Blues.

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Dawson's Creek




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