On our last episode: Trista Rehn cut her stable of eligible bachelors from fifteen to seven, Jack Bauer barely escaped getting his head blown off by that crazy traitor Nina, and Sydney and Vaughn gazed at each other moonily and then shot a bunch of guys. Oh, wait. Those are totally different shows. On the last episode of Dawson's Creek: Jack hooked up with Tiny Gay Elfin David (TGED), who appears to be entirely too good for him; Stupid Boring Natasha broke up with Stupid Boring Dawson; Harley Flip-Flops (allegedly adorable moppet daughter of Joey's nemesis, Professor Flip-Flops) told Joey not to screw up her relationship with Oliver; Jen told Blandy Blands that if she decided to become a peer counselor, she'd be a hell of a lot better at it than he is; Pacey sort of started flirting with Emma and also continued, against all odds, to avoid being fired even though his behavior at the office is abhorrent; and Audrey got liquored up and drove Pacey's car into Dawson's house.
We open on the set of Kangaroo Jack II: This Time, It's Personal, where Todd announces that they've completed principal photography on what is surely the worst horror movie ever made. Well, he spares us the editorializing. We cut to a title card, reading simply "Monday." Remember that: it's Monday. They've just wrapped principal photography. Which means that the second unit probably has some shooting left, and Todd's got weeks of editing ahead of him before the movie is actually finished. Not to mention color correction, sound work, music, looping, credits and titles, et cetera. Post-production is a long process. And it's Monday. Make a note, because I'm going to make a big, bratty deal of it later. The cast and crew applaud enthusiastically, although Natasha pouts as she does so. I feel like this Natasha plot has dragged on about two episodes too long. I don't care about her at all anymore, beyond wishing that someone would drop something heavy on her head. Todd waves his bottle of champagne around and thanks the cast and crew for all their hard work over the past few months, then steps down into the crowd to shake some hands and pat some backs. Dawson looks around the set and beams. Natasha sidles over, looking crabby, and sarcastically compliments him on Todd's speech. Dawson opens his mouth to protest, but she cuts him off, telling him that Todd's warm and fuzzy commentary has Dawson "written all over it." Dawson makes a face as Natasha says the speech was nice, if bittersweet. "Or is it just bitter?" she snaps. "Well, that's what wrap parties are all about," Dawson non-answers awkwardly. In my experience, wrap parties are all about alcohol, but whatever. Natasha announces that Tag got her a gig in the new Spielberg movie. "It's only two days work, but who knows? It could lead to bigger things," she says. Dawson smiles at her. "Knowing you, Natasha, I'm sure it will." Natasha takes this as a dig, of course, but Dawson tells her that "not everyone in the planet is acting every second of their lives." Natasha shrugs that "everyone in Hollywood is [lying]." She hugs him and wishes him luck. "I've got a feeling about you," she says. "What's that?" Dawson asks. "That you're going to need it." Oh, burn! Not. Dawson makes a sour face as Natasha stomps off. He shakes his head. Above him, a tech turns off a klieg light and we go to the credits.