"Is that what you're going to do? You're going to kill me?" Joey asks. "I don't know; I haven't made my mind up yet," Mr. Mugger says. "Well, in the meantime, could you get the hell off of me?" Joey grouses. He sits on her for a few more minutes and then finally gets up. She scrambles up. He puts her phone back in his pocket. "What is your name?" Mr. Mugger asks. "None of your business," Joey snaps. Mr. Mugger flashes her the gun again. "Joey," she admits. "Joey. I like Joey. I like boys' names for girls. It's cute," Mr. Mugger says. Okay, so he's a nutjob, right? Because, from what I understand, if you're mugging someone, it's considered proper form to take their money and book ASAP before someone catches you, rather than standing around and yammering. "My parents will be thrilled," Joey says. ["Can I just say I don't care how much stress she's under; Joey would never snap off a snarky one-liner about her parents. One's in the ground and the other's in the clink. No way is that line organic to the character. Sorry, but sometimes it's the little things." -- Sars] "Look, you have my money and my cell phone. What else do you want?" He gives her a lecherous look. "Please, you're going to have to kill me," Joey says. I'm sorry. This episode was humorous in its complete awfulness the first time I saw it, but as I'm writing this recap, it occurs to me that I really hope no one is looking to Dawson's Creek for accurate information about what to do if, God forbid, you're attacked. Because I learned to give muggers my money and, whatever happens, just try not to die. And that seems to be the opposite message from what's being presented here. ["As a veteran of a mugging myself, let me reiterate what Jessica just said. If for whatever reason you find yourself in that situation: 1) Give up the goddamn money. All of it. Immediately. 2) Do not talk back. Ever." -- Sars] Mr. Mugger instructs her to empty her wallet. "Credit cards: fairly useless," he says. "You'll just cancel that the first chance you get. Unless, of course, I kill you. Kidding!" I also hope that no muggers are looking to this episode to learn how to be a more effective criminal, because everyone knows that if someone gets murdered, one of the first things the cops look into is when and where their credit cards were last used. Doesn't anyone watch Law & Order anymore? Murderers out there? Listen to me: use cash. So, Mr. Mugger announces that they're going back to the ATM, where Joey will empty her account for him. "I only have twenty-seven dollars in my account," Joey whines. "I don't believe it for a second, Joey Who Goes To Worthington," Mr. Mugger snarks. Joey insists that it's true. Mr. Mugger wants her to prove it. This is all just so horrifying.
Episode Report Card1050 USERS: C
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