Finally, Harmony returns with two warm cups of blood -- er, "coffee." She introduces herself and the Moppet, whose name is Sammy. Another piece in the puzzle: boys' names for girls. "It's cute," Joey offers. "You sound like her father," Harmony says. Seriously, is there ANYONE in the WORLD, ANYWHERE who doesn't know that Harmony is Mrs. Mugger? Joey asks if Harmony's hubby is going to pull through. Harmony doesn't know. "What brings you to this special place in the middle of the night?" she asks. Joey explains that she got mugged. Harmony is sympathetic. "At least you're alive to tell the tale, right?" she asks. Well, not thanks to any effort on her part, Harm. "Tell me about your husband," Joey says. Dude, why hasn't Creepy called? He's the worst inappropriate entanglement ever. "He's what you'd call a loser," Harmony begins, telling Joey that she and Mr. Mugger got married too young. "Long story, blah blah blah," she says, then shares that she dropped out of school to follow Mr. Mugger's dreams. "He was going to be Kurt Cobain and I was going to be his Courtney. Didn't quite work out that way," she says. Well, since Kurt Cobain killed himself, that might not be such a bad thing. "Worst thing is," Harmony says, "this little one loves him to death." She wakes up crying for her rotten father every damn night, apparently. "How do you look into these big blue eyes and tell her she's better off without her father?" Harmony asks. This is the worst dialogue I have ever had to transcribe. And I used to recap Judging Amy. Joey wonders if Harmony and the hubby will ever get back together. "Maybe. If you know a couples therapist who specializes in liars, thieves and junkies." Joey apologizes. "This is so not your problem," Harmony says. You have no idea. Harmony asks if the guy who mugged Joey got away. "Um, not exactly, no," Joey says, and explains the car accident thing. They stare at each other.
"Where did this happen?" Harmony asks suddenly. "Downtown Crossing," Joey admits. "Of course," Harmony hisses. "I think I owe you an apology, Joey. I think the scumbag who mugged you was probably my husband." Joey half-smiles. "Well, if it makes you feel better, he was nice about it," she says, politely omitting his constant threats of rape and murder. Harmony sniffles. "He screwed up his daughter's life but he was really nice about it," she snarks, and then she starts to gather up her things to leave and then Joey gives her a GUILT TRIP about NOT STAYING at the hospital to find out if her HORRIBLE HUSBAND pulls through. Joey, what the hell is your damage? First, this is so none of your business. Second, the man is a blight. Third, THIS IS SO NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Butt your bony ass out and go home. GOD. "Whether he lives or dies, what difference does it make at this point?" Harmony wonders. "For her sake," Joey whines, nodding at Sammy. "Trust me, she is better off without him," Harmony says. But Joey? Knows better. Because she knows everything. About everyone. Why? Because of It. She has It. Haven't you heard? Joey Potter is full of It. And she feels that this is her business. She says that. She says that she feels this is HER BUSINESS. "Because I've been that little girl. She doesn't know her dad's a loser. She thinks he's pretty much the greatest thing in the entire world," she says, then asks Harmony to give Sammy the chance to "say goodbye." Please, Harmony, eat her. But no such luck. Instead, Harmony just stares at Joey sadly. "You're right about one thing, Joey," she says. "This is none of your business." Harmony gathers up Sammy and leaves. Joey covers her face with her hands. When she looks up, a doctor is staring down at her. Mr. Mugger? ASKING FOR HER.