First up, a big shout-out to the Not! Couch: Djb, Gustave, Niki, and of course our lovely hostess Wing Chun (Glark too). Next, a moment of silence for the dearly departed "Angry Pants" McPhee (tm Kisle), who loved his non-dead, non-gay son. Lastly, I'd like to apologize for coming in so late with the recap this week. Thanks for your patience.
Welcome to the WB Wednesday night, in which viewers pinned under rocks, viewers named Rip Van Winkle, and viewers with absolutely no short-term memory learn that her choice. Changed. Everything. And fate. Will bring them. Back together. Don't get it? Go lie down.
Previously on Dawson's Creek: Joey and Pacey reluctantly return to Capeside; Dawson and Gretchen run into each other in the hardware store, and Gretchen says she's taking "some time off"; Jen expositions Henry's absence; Joey apologizes to Dawson yet again for "everything that happened"; Joey reassures Pacey that her heart "never left this boat." Not shown: Joey's spine, disguised as an electric eel, slithering overboard and disappearing into the dark deep for a rendezvous with the Skeeve-Jen plot and the cement-overshoe-wearing continuity editor.
Fade up on Capeside High exterior, with Pacey "Holding Out For A Hero" Witter telling Joey "A Farewell To Spines" Potter that "they" want to see him in the guidance office after school. As they walk along holding hands, Joey reassures him that it's probably nothing to worry about, and she teases him a little, and he grumbles, and she asks if teasing is "out of the question," and he says that teasing is fine, but that she raises an interesting point and they should talk about their "mutual wants and needs." Joey arches a skeptical brow, thinking he's talking about sex, as he goes on to point out that "we're a couple now, Potter," and they should discuss a couple of things. "Such as?"
Cut to the hallway, where Pacey wants to set a policy on kissing in public. Joey will allow it, "as long as it's of the spontaneous variety." As opposed to what, exactly? The scheduled variety? That doesn't make any sense. Pacey snarks, "Good lord, woman, you really are a fickle mistress, you know that?" Hmm. Yes. Much like the muse of dialogue, eh what? Pacey adds dryly that, without kissing, they don't really have much left. Oh, I see. They spent three months on a boat, in the scantily-clad summer months, in love, just…kissing. Maybe I should revise my Never Ever Read The Desktop policy, because evidently Pacey changed the name of his boat to "the Donna Martin" and I missed it. Anyway, Joey agrees that they have "precious little" besides kissing, and thinks they should probably break up. Pacey nods gravely. Pausing at the doorway of a classroom, they both smile, and Joey takes Pacey's face in her hands, and they start macking in a manner reminiscent of the famous photo in which the sailor returning from his WWII billet sweeps the girl off her feet in Times Square, and in my opinion it's a bit much for a busy school hallway, but whatever. Pan around to Dawson "Split End Of The Affair" Leery approaching the doorway and having to squeeze past the too-busy-nuzzling-to-notice-him couple to get into the classroom. Joey and Pacey exchange an "oops" look, and we go to credits.
Cat caught in steam press.