Thanks to Kisle, the Couch Baron, Rathmel, and all lit majors past, present, and future on the Mighty Big TV forums.
Previously on Dawson's Creek: Dawson tells Joey how much he'd "missed this," but he means "making movies," and Joey thought he meant "mooning over her," so she gets bummed out; Pacey busts on Dawson for not preparing himself mentally for Joey's post-Dawson love life; Jack can't go through with his date with Ben.
Fade up on the Sanctum Dawsonorum, where Dawson "Thus Sprach Foreheadthustra" Leery edits his Witch Island dorkumentary. A duffel bag flies through his window, followed by Joey "Goes To Hollywood" Potter. "Nice entrance," Dawson says dryly, and Joey looks at the TV screen and asks, "Dawson, isn't there a limit on the number of times a person can watch their [sic] own movie?" Would you rather watch it, Joey? No? Didn't think so. Dawson excuses his self-absorption by saying that he has to prepare for the "Q & A session after the screening." Joey, taking off her coat, snarks, "How Sundance." Tee hee. Dawson tells her not to "blow this completely out of proportion," and Joey gives him guff for acting nervous -- but, it saddens me to report, not before referring to Dawson as both a "gifted young self-motivated auteur" and "Capeside's own Spielbergian wunderkind" in a sentence as chock-full of mispronunciations, tautologies, and incorrectly defined fifty-cent words as any ever spoken in the Sanctum, so I won't repeat it in full. I will, however, tell Joey to shut up. Shut up, Joey. Dawson stuffs various XXXL American Eagle items of apparel into his bag and admits to feeling a bit nervous, explaining, "It's one thing to be a big fish in the small pond that is Capeside," and Joey finishes, "But entirely another to swim in the talent pool with hundreds of your egocentric competitors." Um, first of all, "big fish"? You can't even drive yet, Craniac, so unless you want me to call you "Hammerhead" for the rest of the season, put a sock in it. Second of all -- oh, forget it. Dawson thanks Joey for the "gut-wrenching visual." Joey comforts him by telling him for the bazillionth time that his movie is good and that he is talented, and she sounds about as convincing as she usually does when forced to spout a bunch of complimentary bushwa about Dawson's filmmaking faculties, i.e. not very. Dawson smiles that all-too-familiar "ah yes, more of the praise I so richly deserve" smile of greatly off-putting smugness while Joey blathers on about how "for better or worse, this experience will only take you one step closer to realizing your dreams." Then she kvetches about having to spend the weekend with "a complete stranger," which Dawson agrees is "cruel and unusual," but Joey shrugs that she signed up for the college tour, so they've paired her off with a random student, and "those are the rules." Dawson asks if she's nervous, and she says yes, "but in a good way."
Cue The "As God Is My Witness, I Will Get The Hell Out Of Capeside One Day" Monologue Of The Week; the trip gives Joey hope that she will "make it out of here," and Dawson tells her he's never doubted that she would get out of Capeside. Joey mumbles, "Easy for you to say, Dawson," and Dawson tells her to "look at this weekend as an adventure," adding a bunch of bollocks about "our first foray into the real world" and "a glimpse into the rest of our lives," and as the surface of my eyeball begins to twitch, longing for a sharp object, Joey counteracts Dawson's upbeat prediction with a dire one of her own, one which sports a bunch of SAT words that, taken together, make absolutely no sense whatsoever. Then she smiles.