As Jen lowers her snout to a perfume snifter, Abby and her dilated pupils say, "Look, let's never let a guy come between us again. Men will come and go, but you and I are kindred spirits. We're rebels, bound together by the common need to break out of this small-town abyss," and she chucks yet another sample into her bag, and Jen says, "All right -- are you sure that you're okay with this whole guy thing, though?" and Abby says, "Absolutely," and Jen smiles with relief and says, "Okay, good, because I've been dying to tell somebody, I've got a date with Vincent," and Abby's face freezes and she says, "You bitch," and Jen in confusion says, "What?" and Abby says, "After everything I've done for you, how could you go and steal him from me?" as though what Abby has "done" for Jen -- i.e. get her drunk and advise her to throw herself at a boy who doesn't want her -- should inspire undying loyalty. Jen responds, "Are you out of your mind? He doesn't even know that you exist, Abby," and heads for the door. Abby pinches another handful of make-up before taking off after Jen and as they stalk down the street Abby snarls, "You might want to stop and pick up some condoms. You're in the big leagues now, babe -- I mean, that guy probably has illegitimate kids scattered all up and down the eastern seaboard," and could Abby please stop referring to illegitimate children as proof that sex occurred, and also, could Abby please LAY OFF THE ROCK? Jen tells Abby to shut up, and can I hear an "AMEN" from the people? Abby: "Yeah, he probably likes it kinky -- oh oh oh, but that's right, you're the girl from New York City, right?" Jen, through gritted teeth: "I'm warning you, back off." Abby sends a final shot across the bow with, "Yeah, old Vincent probably knows an easy lay when he sees one," at which point Jen whirls around and cracks Abby across the face but good and says, "Don't ever talk to me again, ever," and storms off as Abby stares after her and holds her cheek with her hair all mussed up. All together now: Hiiiiii-YA! Oh, and also, go Jen.
Episode Report CardSars: D | 380 USERS: C+
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